Hey everybody, it's @shayne
I'm going to share with you a recent exchange I had and dissect why I think the user has a very bad approach. Hopefully this will help to keep the Steemit community friendly and open, which is the goal I have in mind in posting this.
For the sake of the other user, I'm not going to tag them because, honestly, I don't want anyone getting bad press from me. It's not my intention to judge or pull down anyone here, which is the point of this post.
Here's the exchange
Point number 1
Don't criticize the way other people manage who they follow -- that's just rude... dang.
Like, you can if you really want to, but I wouldn't recommend it because it's just plain inconsiderate -- It's really not a good way to make friends.
I mean, c'mon -- it's nobody else's business to criticize who I follow and for what reason. Not everybody uses social media in the same way. Just because someone doesn't do things they way you do isn't a reason to call them out on it. That's just... weird, and a little bit solipsistic.
Never have I ever thought to judge why someone was or wasn't following me. It is everyone's free choice to follow whoever they like, and if you like the content I produce, or if you think that upvoting my posts will get you decent curation rewards, then I'm happy. If you don't like my content and don't want to follow or upvote my posts -- I'm also happy. You are your own person and I respect your choices.
I wouldn't dare to criticize why someone doesn't follow me. Partially because I respect everyone's right to follow whoever they want, and partly because I'm not desperate for followers and never have been, even when I didn't have any.
There are many great ways to build an authentic audience, and this isn't one of them.
Point number 2
The people I follow are either:
- Content creators with whom I like to stay updated
- People with whom I've established a good relationship
If you are someone who replies to my posts regularly, or I reply to yours regularly, and we have established a relationship in some way, I'm probably going to follow you at some point. Also, if you are a content creator who's work I like, I'll follow you to stay current with your work. Or if you're a personal friend of mine.
That's it.
I don't follow for follow. I don't beg for followers. I don't ask people to follow me. And I certainly wouldn't chastise anyone if they didn't follow me back -- that's pathetic.
Point number 3
Trying to guilt or bully people into following you is about as low class as it gets.
If you are the sort of person that would do something like that, please go ahead and unfollow me and mute me right now -- I don't want you upvoting my stuff or commenting on my posts.
The kind of people I want following me are the 99% of you that get it: it's you guys, who are thoughtful and engaged, who leave great comments and start interesting debates, who make us laugh or think about things differently.
I love you guys!
But if you're trying to guilt people into following you, I want nothing to do with you. Yuck...
What do you guys think?
I'd really like your views on this one.
Personally, this is just something that really bugs me. It hasn't happened often here on Steemit, but I guess with more people joining the platform, you're going to get more good but also more bad.
I really want to see a community on Steemit that is authentic and supportive, not critical of each other about stupid stuff.
So let me know in the comments below :D
Exactly man. I don't expect anything from people that I follow. If my content doesn't appease someone, then so be it. Not going to cry over one person not upvoting my shit! LOL
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Yeah... basically.
And I don't even have a problem with people doing follow for follow if that's their game, but don't try and punish other people if they don't do things the same way... that's just weird lol
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Well said @vegansilverstack - we can't please everybody. If we did we would all be whales.
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That persons did like this:
hahahahhahahahha
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lol
upvoted
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thanks man you´re great!!!
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I think your points are valid about personal conduct, but I do not respect your decision regarding not tagging him since you did not gray out his name or make any attempt at hiding his identity.
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There we go -- fixed it. Really, not trying to mess with anybody here. Thanks :)
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Ah, I'll do that now. Thanks for the comment!
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Well done. Thanks for taking that feedback so well. Now I am in full agreement.
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I probably appreciate the feedback as much as you appreciate me taking it lol
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Agree! I'd love it if you'd follow me @shayne, but I'm not going to complain and stop reading your content just because you don't! I follow you because I like what you post, not because I'm trying to gain a follower. It's disappointing to see people behave like this guy.
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;)
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I certainly think that some newer people come here with the same attitudes as they do on YouTube/Facebook/Twitter/etc...It's a different atmosphere here on Steemit. People have to be careful how they interact here because their actions affect their future earnings...So a good reputation is paramount in relation to longevity here...But excellent that you took the higher road in not exposing his user name...Great post @shayne!
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Well thanks a lot. I'm glad this is helpful to people.
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Awesome man...Have a great day!
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I think it can be easy to get too caught up in trying to maximize your gains by figuring out how the system works. Honestly, I think keeping track of who follows you and upvotes you is time consuming and stressful, and will lead to poor decisions. The best thing to do is simply to try and enjoy the platform and have fun, be helpful and as real as you can be.
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I agree with you 100% - you seem like you have the correct attitude
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I couldn't agree with your comment more. Honestly, I don't have time to check all of that stuff because I'm busy 1. making content and 2. living my damn life lol
I prefer proactive systems over accusatory methods. But that's just me!
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Some people have busy days. Very busy. It is not possible to cover all the bases goes the saying. Never has that been more true than here on Steemit. Everyone is trying to catch your eyeballs. At least long enough to get your upvote.
It is going to get really interesting in the future. I am trying to establish myself now, while there is some chance at least. When this thing really gets rolling, it is going to be something else. Almost as if we need two or three Steemits.
We have to do what we know. If what we know works, that is what each one needs to pursue. Just saying.
Thank you for sharing.
Francis
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Oh, I hear that @francisk. I don't even have enough time to reply to everyone, let alone figure out who is or isn't following me and go spend time posting on their blog about how I'm not going to follow them anymore lol.
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So, first of all, I learned a new word "solipsistic"
Also, I agree with you 100 percent, I usually follow people back, doesn't matter to me and people seem to appreciate it, but like you say, it is just a choice, not an obligation.
if your content isn't worth a vote, it's not. People can vote however they like.
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lol I'm glad to have introduced you to a new word :D
I was blessed (cursed if you ask my wife) with an inclination towards loquaciousness... LOL!
My writing has always included at least one or two words that could use a looking-up. It goes for me, too -- gotta stay sharp! :D
I'm sure that half the people I follow don't follow me back. And you know what? I don't care lol
It's not my business what they do.
:)
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I am glad you grayed out his name. He made a mistake with you, but he doesn't deserve to be black-balled by others in the community because of it. Nice job! :)
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Oh, thanks @whatsup for that one. I was too dumb to think about doing it myself!
XD
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As long as it gets done, that's all that matters ;)
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agree.
people come here and think to behave as on Twitter or whatever.
not even trying to create good contents!
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lol it IS a Twitter thing, huh?!?
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hello. I upvoted and followed. here is my post: ...
;)
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it is, but even more it happens on Instagram
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That's just plain stupid behavior! Most people who follow me haven't upvoted my content and that's fine. I am new here and just building up my following without begging for follows. If people follow me I presume it's because they like my content. If they just want me for their numbers then that is also fine. Who am I to judge?
I follow people like you @shayne as I value your content. I don't expect a follow back just because I follow you. Maybe my content doesn't appeal and that's no problem. We haven't had much of a rapport on here - I'm new, I get it.
To expect upvotes for being on someone's follow list is just silly
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Yeah, and I'm glad you're here.
Honestly, a lot of accounts phase out. I've followed people before who just disappear and I have to clear them out of my following list. So a certain amount of proving oneself is important to me.
It's nothing to take offense over: the people who I followed but phased out were people I liked! But I wouldn't re-follow them instantly now because I've learned to let people get their feet wet here before I start following them.
Thanks a lot for your comments!
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That´s reply was so sad... Really begging you, because you don´t follow back ha ha.
And if only, he unfollow you without say nothing, but make that all drama... so shame.
Excellent post and very good example, of what we don´t doing here.
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Well, I'm really not trying to make fun of the guy. People have different ideas on what Steemit is all about. His idea is different than mine. But I do find it to be disrespectful to call people out like he does. So I'm going to bring it up :D
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Sure, i understand your point.
Only i say this is something just like any social network, just like courtesy rule. You only follow something you like, interesting you or if you wanna learn it. Not, because yes.
But well, here we are to teach courtesy too.
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Indeed! Sometimes these lessons are learned the hard way. But that's just how it is :/
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Interesting - I've been contemplating cutting back my own follow list, since I never seem to see the posts from the writers I do know.
And one way I am looking at it is as the user said; to trade follow for follow, to stop following people that don't really follow me (from the folks that never upvote or resteem posts)
OTOH, if there are folks who constantly put out good stuff that interests me (the ones I'm not seeing 100% in my feed as is), why should I care if they follow back or not?
FWIW, I don't think he was being confrontational, although there is certainly reason to see it that way
It's damn well counter productive; maybe you make the decision to stop following Steemers who don't support you in return, but don't make it a public issue.
Should you communicate the unfollow in private? I see where people would want to be upfront with unfollows and explain the reason why, but I bet it doesn't turn out well in practice. I can't see why the person informed of the unfollow would take it as anything but criticism.
Maybe the best approach would be to contact the user off the blockchain, and ask if there is value in the follow relationship?
And as I write that, it seems to be begging and attention whoring...
Maybe the best thing to do is just unfollow, and not say a word.
And if you want lots of upvotes and follows, just write lots of good material
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Yeah, I check on my list every now and then, and sometimes people have become inactive, or there are new people that I want to follow that I hadn't been. That kind of stuff. I don't make a point of telling anyone about it unless it's positive. Like with this post: https://steemit.com/steemit/@shayne/go-follow-acidyo directing people to follow @acidyo
Whether or not I'd communicate to the person off-chain has to do with the strength and the nature of the relationship, probably. In this guy's case, I didn't know him at all, so it seems really weird to have so much expected of me.
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I personally have done quite a few "follower cleanses" although its only been for inactive users those times I do plan on cleansing more in the future. Too many followers are just too many, and since I most of the time don't tell the other person that I started following them (nor do many notice it) I feel I don't have to tell them when I un-follow them either. If they want to take it as criticism, that's on them.
This reply was a bit more about @stevescoins comment.
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Excellent points.
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Good post, should've read it before commenting, but yeah not really a great approach. Sounds a bit passive-aggressive or just asking for votes through guilt like you stated.
Biggest reason I follow many is cause most are active and many don't get rewarded fairly or curated on. Doesn't mean that once Steemit gets big enough or more curators become active I won't unfollow most that post about stuff that doesn't really interest me.
Another funny thing that came to mind just now was that someone pointed out in steemit.chat that I only follow authors that @ned re-steems or contacts (think cause he had tried to reach you that one time). Why would they argue about that? I don't really know, guess cause they thought I'm a suck up to him for attention or something, but now that I remembered steemdb.com I could check that I had in fact followed you way back before any of that happened. feelsgood.jpg
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LOL
Hahaha! XD
You are authentic to the MAX!
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I need a good tool to look at the follower list; I had been using steemstats, and that was just to verify a mutual follow. I stopped paying attention to managing followers at all even before I took my 2 month break.
Now it's truly laissez faire on my follower page LOL
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steemdb.com shows recent followers with timestamps.
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a good method for returning new followers, but I think one of the things we're discussing is whether we should be doing that (follow for follow) at all.
now I'm thinking I should unfollow everyone, make a post about WHY I did that (some people will never notice LOL), and just start following people I am truly interested in
rip out the foundation and rebuild it
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Yeah I plan on doing that once I'm happy with the amount of curators on newcomers and beginners.
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Very thought provoking. Not along the lines of "reinvent the wheel," but certainly matters to consider.
Thank you
Francis
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still undecided; I can easily see the current followers geeting upset or feeling betrayed by this.
the follow for follow mindset is established internet etiquette in the minds of a lot of people, including myself to some point
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It's not easy to get out of that mindset, it's true. I don't even suggest that people do quit doing that. I just don't find it appropriate to chastise someone else for not doing it lol
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Completely support you on this. Following is a choice and so is commenting and it only works if it's authentic. Though I'm still new here and figuring things out that much seems pretty obvious to me. Worst social media behaviour I've ever seen is Instagram and it's follow unfollow game. To me that shows up as mean spirited and just not appropriate. If you're creating good content and people like it awesome. And if they don't that's ok too, no need to play games.
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Exactly. Leave that stuff on Twitter, I say.
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Oh no. They do it on Twitter too? I'm glad I never got started there. :)
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I have the same issue on YouTube, some people think just because they subscribe that i HAVE to subscribe back, and unsubscribe because I didn't subscribe. I feel same principles apply here, you follow someone IF you like their content. When I subscribe.follow someone. If they like my stuff they will subscribe back to show thanks, but I won't force anyone to follow me back.
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Right. Well that makes you what I like to call a "mature person".
:)
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I upvoted and replied, so now you are in my debt forever, just so you know. ;) Just kidding, I thought you handled your responses to the person with following issues very politely and professionally. Steem on!
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Well thanks for that. I'm sure I could've done better. Sometimes I don't know when emotions are getting the better of me :D
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Nice! I really like your series. Well written and to the point.
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This post has gained a lot of comment as it should. That turkey demanding a follow and attention deserves zilch. Steemit is not "everyone gets a trophy day" Create worthwhile content and you will end up with a following. Be polite, consistent, insightful and an all around good citizen to the platform and you will do just fine.
My years on Twitter, I examined every single account that I followed back. There's no point in having a clumsy feed of accounts that you have no interest in.
Totally behind what you said in this post.
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Wiser words (about Steemit) have never been spoken :D
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I appreciate that.
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Great post shayne! We wouldn't read every book in the library. It's all just point of view, and that's great because it gives us the choice to expand our awareness in the direction that we want to go. It's not about rules that limit who/what we are (as long as no harm done). No judgement (good or bad) - just choice of what we want to resonate with. (-:
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Wow, thanks a lot :D I like your view of things.
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I do follow-for-follow, but I'm new to this social networking stuff (never having Fake-booked), but I like to scan a wide range of interests and selectively (when I have time) comment on those that pique my interest. I do ask for follows on content I post, but ONLY if you find value in what I have to say or present. If you don't, or don't upvote, that's your way and you're entitled to it.
I can see where following a lot of people makes filtering out some of the "noise" more difficult - but it's like finding rare seashells on a beach... Some days, nada - others you can hit a jackpot!
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That's a good philosophy, in my opinion.
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yea of course you wouldn't follow someone you don't find interesting. I don't know what that guys deal was. you would have followed or upvoted his stuff if you liked it.
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The thing of it too is -- you know, it's the internet! There's a lot of stuff out there that I would probably love that I just don't see because so much is available.
@zcgolf16, for instance, just left a great comment on this post that led me to check out his wall and upvote a great post of his about the BTCC Twitter poll.
That's how you do networking to get what you want, not bully people into following you lol
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The point of Social Networks is to be Social. If you only follow you people you find valuable that is absolutely your right and should be respected.
This isn't twitter where you need to have a huge audience to drive traffic to some kind of monetary decision with a <1% conversion rate.
Steemit is a system that doesn't need or require that level of shouting to make it worth your time. Now, it's about the quality of your content AND the quality of your network and how you nurture it.
Good for you Shayne, build your Social Network that works for you.
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Some great insight in this comment. Especially about the difference between Twitter and Steemit. I agree. Thanks a lot for commenting!
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You are welcome. The more I uncover layers withing Steemit, the more in love with it I fall.
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Well... Now you've got yourself a new follower!
I agree with everything you've said here. I don't follow so many people either (36 people at the time I'm writing this) and I have 478 followers. - I don't follow for follow and I even published posts about followers and resteems recently. - Follow for follow might work on other social medias. Instagram for instance, but I don't personally think you should go and "follow for follow" on Steemit. That doesn't make any sense at all to me.
I'm looking forward to read your future posts! :)
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Excelent :)
I appreciate your views on this and agree.
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Hi @shayne, how can we blame that person if they are besotted with you and always craving your attention. Go on, indulge their desire.....
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looks up "besotted"
...
is not disappointed
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Maybe I should have written it another way. It was in the context of having an infatuation and not disappointment with wanting you to follow.
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I agree with you. I think it is important to have a following here, but it is even more important to have the right following. Like minds. I think as more Facebookers and YouTubers join, the more I'll be using the mute option. Some are bringing that argumentative thing with them. They can do that on the other sites. If people start trolling here in large numbers, there goes all the fun and sense of community we have.
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Yeah, I mean... I wrote a whole howto post on being mindful of ones own following. I guess that's a lesson that is hard to learn for a lot of people. They see that when they follow people, they sometimes get followed back. That's all well and good, but are these people even looking at what you're posting? Is the idea to gain a bunch of followers or to have your content disseminated? For me it's the later. And I think for most of you it is too, which is why I try to make helpful posts so people can get what I've been able to get -- which is all you guys!
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Being mindful on the internet. What a concept. Haha. I am still learning at my own pace so I definitely enjoy your how to posts. It is interesting that there is a lot to learn in order to utilize this site properly. Thanks again for all your hard work.
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I agree. Let's see.
Hey you are not following me. Why you.....
Just kidding man. It reminds me of what I saw on Youtube once:
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That is a quote for the ages.
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His loss for having that attitude!
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:(
lol
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Maybe some more time focusing on community building on here will help morph it
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I agree with what you. I think that you handled the conversation well. I would've been unsure how to respond if someone sent me a message like that.
I would rather have no followers instead of having a bunch of followers like that user.
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Indeed. That's why I'm glad he left.
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I agree our engagement should be as organic as possible to give more value to our platform. And if you want to do some people a favor (upvoting, resteeming) because you have established relationship with them is totally up to you.
Glad that you never exposed the identity of the guy. Steemit community is cool, let's spread the love!
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Well, at first I didn't have it blurred out. Then @whatsup pointed out that I should probably do that lol
Good advice.
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Some comments leave you speechless... like seriously? Had to read that again.
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Me? Behave? Seriously... As a child I saw Tarzan strolling naked. Cinderella arrived home after midnight. Pinocchio told lies. Aladdin was a thief. Batman drove over 200 miles an hour. Snow White lived in a house with 7 men. It's not my fault!
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Yeah, that's an excessive demand. I don't mind if people unfollow me, as opposed to having to constantly trade upvotes.
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Hi @shayne
Great post... You have a good attitude and author :)
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Finally good post after several celebration posts haha
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Seems like some people are confused about what they're voting for. It's not a popularity contest.
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Can I vote more than once? LOL i couldn't agree more.
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Totally agree, i was writing a comment here, but then i thought the comment is very long.
Then i might as well create a post about it, and post the link here :)
https://steemit.com/steemit/@sinzzer/steemit-chat-upvotes-and-following-others
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You do you, man. I can understand why people get like this, but who has time to care about this shit? I feel like I need to earn follows and upvotes by posting quality, including quality comments. It doesn't mean that if I get 0 that I don't deserve them, but running around trying to guilt people certainly doesn't achieve anything.
I'm trying to make friends with some whales too, because it sucks to put time and effort into a post and have no one read it, but I'm not kissing ass or ignoring other new users by any means. There are lots of whales that are solid people with solid material that I'd want to engage with anyway.
It's kind of a complicated dynamic here, but if you focus on the positive, there really is no need to focus on the negative most of the time. I can't wait til I'm pulling in $100+ for each article so I can random surprise people with gifts of steem though X-D
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First I think we are all free to do what we like. I felt this guy was trying to put pressure on you saying he will stop following you. Stupid. For me it is the kind of behaviour that make me feel exactly the contrary..."Well, unfollow me it's fine !".
I think the first purpose of following is to keep a track of somebody you like the content.
Good post, except the use of the word "solipsistic" that puzzled me a bit ^^!
cheers :)
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Have to admit i found it curious that you don't like to follow many people (i think i asked you that on youtube), but you are totally right, everybody manage their network the way they want. I follow you because i learned from your youtube channel some useful stuff, but i would not ask you to follow back as probably you are not interested in my content, and that is perfectly ok, actually i want my followers because they like my content not because i asked them. But you must understand how many people could feel when they see your profile, specially newbies, they could feel you are being pedantic or something like that, they feel it is unfair, just try to see yourself from their point of view.
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sweet man.. donno if you are following me.. but you are in my feed so I'm def following you lol
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Well, it could also be that someone you follow resteemed me lol
So there's that.
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