The Angry Kid
Today I want to share with you one of the reasons I became an educator. This is one of the success stories I have had with a student from a previous school. Specific details have changed slightly to protect his identity.
When this student enrolled he was in a terrible disarray. He came from a broken home where domestic violence was rife and had not been at school for 6 months. At a previous school, as he had a disability, he was often locked in a room 'for his own safety' and would often run away from school and the police would be called to find him.
When he arrived at my school, he could not sit in class for longer than 10 minutes. He would often just leave,roam the school grounds and scream profanities into classrooms at random. As teachers had never encountered this before at my school (a primary school) many became quite distressed and did not know how to handle this student. After a few weeks I was able to get my bearings on this kid and take stock of what was needed and put together a plan.
I decided to reduce his time at school to a few hours a day so I could re-integrate him back into the school environment and learning, His baggage from his previous school and home life was extensive and had severely damaged his ability to interact socially. I finally was able to build a strong repore with him and establish some expectations to get him into class and learning important social skills, at least for a few hours a day.
Then one day, he came to school and was climbing the walls of the classroom, literally. After getting him to my office, and him trashing the room, I finally was able to find out the reason for his high anxiety. His mother had moved back in with his highly abusive father as she could not afford rent and food without his assistance. He had been exposed to domestic violence from a young age and was now reluctant to be at school and would do anything to get home..... anything. After I told him he couldn't go home early, he settled and we cleaned my office up. He cried a little and I got him back on his feet and we started afresh the next day.
Eventually, after a lot of hard work and constant planning and skill building, he was able to resume a relatively normal existence in the classroom.
Just the other day I was able to catch up with this kid, who is now in high school. He attends school all day everyday, is achieving great marks and has an active social life as any young person should. I get so chuffed with myself when I find out how these very difficult and challenging kids have become so successful after being in such a horrible place at one point in time.
It always makes me reflect and realise that no matter how hard my life seems to get, there is always someone out there doing it tougher than me. I am so lucky to be able to affect the lives of these kids and see their successes and help them through their failures.
Being a teacher, like being a parent, always has its ups and downs.
Thanks for reading.
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I was one of these kids! Nobody understood why I couldn't listen, and from grade 5 to 7 especially I was locked in rooms and constantly asked to fill out behavior reports on myself.
The strangest thing to me is what it was like being in the 'behavior room', because I could see how I didn't relate to other kids who misbehaved. From my perspective they all had obvious mental issues, but then I'd ask myself how I ended up in the same place. . I was there for intense belligerence, to the point where I suppose teachers thought I had a disability.
This teacher I had in grade 7 changed my life, but not in a good way. He was a unique teacher, in that he was a body builder and a younger male. This guy would always single me out and make me leave the classroom or make me the butt of a joke in the class. One problem after the next all year with this guy.
One day my school banned Pokemon cards from the premise, but I didn't care, I had a fat stack in my locker. This teacher walked past me as I had my locker open, and he reached in and grabbed my Pokemon cards to confiscate them. This was the first moment in time I chose to threaten a teacher with physical harm, and he was stunned. First of all he had probably 200 lbs of muscle on me, I was just a kid in grade 7, but I distinctly remember threatening to punch him in the face if he didn't return my cards. When he began to walk towards me, I doubled down, I threatened to hurt him if he touched me, and I had caught the attention of all my peers in the hallway. I was the 'hilarious' belligerent kid who suddenly went to the dark side.
Everything was different in this moment afterwards for many reasons. The teacher refused to ever let me back into his classroom for good, so the issue spiraled out to involve my mother and the school principal. It was finally in this moment when my mother and principal were listening to me that they could perceive that this teacher was bullying me. I was like a little lawyer, pointing out that daily he removed me from the classroom, often times without a behavioral report to back it up. I had a few of my friends testify that the teacher singled me out in class frequently. I mentioned how he entered into my locker and stole from me without hesitation, and finally I doubled down on all my actions showing no remorse. He would return my Pokemon cards or be punched in the face, no exceptions. I don't think they saw a violent person, but instead someone who had completely became determined to control his own environment.
I seemed to have prevailed, I was allowed back into class. . the teacher was basically neutered now and left me alone. However everything was actually worse, I had no ability to sit through an entire class and understand its structure because I was never properly taught how to do that. I ended up failing everything while the teacher just watched and let it happen. He 180'd on me, he completely neglected me now.
The cherry on top is to come. After being leveled with about my performance in school, I had this final book report of great importance. Well this clown of a teacher right away accuses me of not reading this book, so he opens it up and flips to a few random pages and asks me some questions. Surprise surprise he nailed me with a gotcha question, to which I responded by making eye contact and forming a fist. That was the last time I ever interacted with him, and he was never seen at the school again the following years.
I went through life never resorting to these tactics again.
I'm 30 years old now, but still to this day when someone is being willfully dense with me or trolling me, they can see in my facial expression it isn't going to get them very far. I have this prickly edge to me that never went away.
Am I an educator today? In many ways, but I'm not a teacher! I always find who needs help the most, and I focus on them. I'm not phased by threats or belligerence or truancy because I recognize they are pieces of utility kids will use to try and control the environment they're in, which is the most natural thing in the world. I would honestly be more concerned for the kid who can't stand up for themselves than the kid who breaks all the rules.
Thanks for being a great teacher, the world needs ya : D
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Wow. What a great response to my post. Thanks for taking the time to tell your story too. I know there are many out there.
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hermosa historia. Convertiste tu vivencia negativa en algo positivo. La cosas son causales, tuviste que pasar por esa experiencia para descubrir tu vocación
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Really great reply in context to this post.
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Well done @scooter77 and thank you for sharing this true story. It warms the heart to know that people like you work in the education system.
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Thank you for this great post. My wife and I both work in public education. My wife is a school social worker, so the type of student you described is what she deals with about 80% of her day. She commented to me the other day that things are so different now from when she started. She used to mainly deal with issues like: my parents are getting divorced and it makes me sad, or x person won't play with me anymore. Now these students are coming with so much damage and trauma that the issues are astronomically compounded. Very thankful your students story had a positive ending. Sometimes it really is about the long term dividends. -@bozz
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sometimes its easy to judge someone based on what we see but if you go deeper you will discover their is more than meets the eye, domestic abuse has broken many children and most need extra care just to get them on their feet, am glad he is doing well and thanks for the great work you are doing
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Great story! An experience you'll keep for the rest of your life! I'm a educator aswell and there's nothing compared to letting someone to succeed in society.
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Wow... Your story shows the importance of good teachers.. It also shows the merits of persistence especially when it relates to helping the less privileged.. It's so inspiring.. Thanks for this post. It's good to know that there are wonderful people in this world. More achievements.
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I really appricate you being as teacher. I think being a teacher is very tough job. because you are a builder of a nation. you will edfinitly try hard to build your student future. For this Topic I have alot of things to discuss. but now I am a little bit busy. see you with your next post. stay bleesed <3
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Good job @scooter77 and good job on this kids part too! It's great that some educators are prepared to go the extra mile for the kids that need that extra support.
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steady your friend is a very patient and smart educator I salute to you friend.
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