Day 13 of 100 - the call

spellmaker (62) in steemitschoolpoetry • 7 years ago

With music we travel through time
All the time
We listen to it and we fly
Very high

Green Photo Women's Fitness Quote Facebook Cover(5).jpg

Hey you, listen up,
Are you here, are you not?
I've been trying to tie this knot
But I don't know a lot

For years I've been alone
In the same old spot
It started just with coffee
And now I'm smoking pot

My vision is changing
I'm seeing every bot
I can change their thoughts
With every word I got

So, man, woman, goth,
Please, don't be a sloth
Everything's inside
You are hot!

This is the end of day thirteen. Thanks for reading! Use words wisely, they can make you fly and see!

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7 years ago by spellmaker (62)

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johannesburghart (51) · 7 years ago

Hey Spellmaker,
such a beautifully writen poetry.
Keep up those hot and hip thoughts,
cant wait to read some more ;)

all the best from germany my friend,
johannes (:

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spellmaker (62) · 7 years ago

Thanks for a nice response! Together we are strong!

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acousticsteveo (61) · 7 years ago

With music we travel through time
All the time

I like the way the second line emphasizes the first here.

I am helping @d-pend in curration of poetry and was just moved into helping in the intermediate category, you'll see my feedback every couple days. Yesterday we had our class on critique. We're going to be doing these on Thursdays at 16:00 GMT. We are moving into a phase where the comments are going to be more geared toward critique so that we can all grow as writers. Feel free to come by and critique some of my poetry. It would be welcomed with open arms and is badly needed. But before I make an assumption that you are open to suggestions on your writing I want to just ask, "Are you open to suggestions on your writing?" Not that I think my suggestions should be taken by you, it's more that they can be used as a tool to open doors for future poems because it's a critical set of eyes that want to see you improve. I need those eyes too. We all do, but it's up to you. So let me know if I need to slow my role. Or if you are open to critique. 😎

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