The Diary - A Story

5, 1, 2, 3 & 4

_{Part 5}

_{– I wish you a good night my dear child. Sleep well.
Woman rises from the bedside, smiles to the little boy in the bed and whispers to the child carer beside the door:
– Thank you Alicia, tomorrow is going to be a fun day at the carnival and I think Fred will be very tired when we come back home. You have a lovely day off with your family.}

_{– Thank you Madam. Have a wonderful day at the carnival too. Good night.
Alicia curtsies and leaves the door. The woman takes a last look at Fred sleeping and closes the door. She walks to the other end of the hallway, opens the door at the end of it and talks to the girl inside:
– You can stay awake for an hour Helena, but then you have to go to sleep. We have a long but fun day ahead tomorrow. And even thou you are already thirteen, you need to have enough sleep before it.}

_{– Yes mama, I will go to bed soon, Helena answers and runs to the door to hug her mother and continues:
– I am so exited to see the elephants and the people flying in the air. I try my best to sleep, but I hope I am not too exited. If I can not help but to think of tomorrow and can not sleep, I will use my willpower to stay awake tomorrow.}

_{– Yes Helena, the woman laughs and hugs her back.
– You do have a very strong willpower. Now goodnight! Your papa and I will be going to sleep soon too.
The woman shuts the door, walks the hallway back and down the grand stairs. As she is walking down the stairs, she glides her fingers on the stair handrails and smiles gently.}

_{IMAGE
She passes a window where she quickly looks at her reflection, corrects her hair and dress a little. She continues thru the big hall to the study, opens the study door quietly and finds her husband sitting beside the fireplace, holding a whiskey glass in his hand. The woman walks in front of her husband, takes the glass, takes a sip, puts the glass on the table, bends over her husband and whispers:
– Dear Sir, what do you think of an early night in my bed?}

_{– Cornelia? The man answers and raises his eyes.
– Are you sure? So soon after the miscarriage? It has been only three months.}

_{– I am sure Tobias. God gives and god takes. We just have to accept that. God has also given you to me. And you are everything that an old girl like me could ever want. Love is a luxury, but you have given it to me. And two wonderful children whom both I love very much. Cornelia takes his hand, leans back as Tobias rises and puts his other hand on her waist.}

_{– At the first moment we met, I have always loved your boldness and the fact that you are not afraid to speak out your mind and take what you want, although you are a lady from your fingertips to your lovely toes. And I think, if you truly were a god-fearing woman, you wouldn't be the bold lady you are, my love. The woman I want, who I crave for. And if we do not hurry, I am not sure we can make it all the way to your bedroom.}

_{Cornelia rises her other hand to her husband's neck, sinks her fingers to his hair and whispers:
– I am not stopping you. The servants know better not to come here and Alicia has left home for the day. Now I have told Alicia to tie my corset differently for the past week. Different than usual. It can be loosened and taken of with only one hand, by pulling these ribbons, just under here...}

_{Knock on the door interrupts Cornelia. She and Tobias reluctantly take a step back and turn towards the door. Tobias is about to answer, but before he has a change to say anything, there is another knock on the door and they hear Alicias tightened voice:
– Madam? Lord?}

_{Cornelia and Tobias look at each other knowing that something is wrong, Cornelia can't help herself, takes few quick steps to the door and opens the door at the same time as she asks:
– What is it Alicia? What is wrong?
As the door opens she sees Alicias frightened face and a notebook in her hands.}

_{Tobias comes to the door:
– Alicia, tell us this instant!}

_{– Are the children here with you, Lord? Alicia looks at Tobias.}

_{– No of course they are not. They know they are not allowed to come here. They are sleeping upstairs.}

_{– Oh I am sorry to say but no my Lord and Madam, they are not. I forgot to give this old unused notebook to Lady Helena. Lady asked me to find it earlier. She told me that she wanted to start writing a diary^{@nyarlathotep} and tomorrow would be a good day to start as you are going to the carnival. I went to her room but she wasn't there. That is not unusual as I know she has a habit to visit Master Fredericus before she goes to sleep. But when I went to look for her in Master Fredericus room, I found that... Alicia takes a deep breath and instinctively presses the notebook tighter to her chest.
– I... They were not there. And I looked under their beds, inside the closets and the other rooms too. I run to the kitchen and to the attic, but the attic door is locked as usual. The windows are closed and I didn't see any steps in the peculiarly early autumn snow outside the doors. I... I can not find them anywhere Madam.
Alicia turns her desperate eyes towards Cornelia.}

Part 6

Dear Diary,

It is with a heavy heart that I write my first words, first sentences and thoughts to you my dear diary. The start of this diary was supposed to be a happy occasion. A perfect day to start to write a diary. And exiting day at the carnival. But it was not. I am not entirely sure what happened to me and my brother Fred, but without a doubt I can say that my parents do not look at me the way they looked at me before. My dear mama says that she loves me, but I can see the doubt in her eyes. The fear that I would hurt Fred somehow, which I would never do! And they have invited my grandmammy here, who is a very frightening woman.

My dear diary, you are the only one who will listen me with no prejudice. You are the only one who knows that I am speaking the truth.

The evening before we were supposed to go to the carnival, was just like any other evening. Except that I could not stop thinking about the next day. After my dear mama had left, I quietly sneaked to Freds room to say goodnight to him. Like almost every evening. There he was, on the bed, sitting and waiting for me. He said he had pretended to be more tired than he actually was, so that mama would leave sooner and that he could talk with me. He said that he had waited for me and that he could not sleep because he was also very excited about tomorrow. He asked me if the carnival had flying elephants and I could not help but laugh at his words and said that we shall see that tomorrow.

As we were talking about the carnival, I started to feel a bit chilly. At first I thought that someone had forgotten the window open, and although I was sure it would be closed because both, Alicia and mama always tent to us and especially Fred, with such love and care, I went to look. The window was closed. I still felt a slight breeze and so did Fred. He looked at me and said that he has had dreams of someone being in this room. Someone who should not be here. I started to get worried because the cold breeze was no longer a slight breeze. It felt like the very air was pulled towards a hole in the center of the room.

I went to Fred, took him to my arms and we both wrapped Freds blanket around our shoulders. As we started to hear a vague popping sound, like popped corn popping, Fred said to me that he was scared. And that he could smell popped corn.^@anasav I smelled it too. I was very scared but I tried to keep myself calm because or Fred.

As we were sitting there, the lines of the room started to go blurry. And not only the room, all the furniture too. Thinking about it now, I should have taken Fred and run out of the room before the door vanished altogether, but I was so scared that I could not think of anything else than holding Fred in my arms very tightly. I remember Fred calling my name few times, but I could not answer to him. If I had tried to talk, I think would have only screamed. That is how scared I was.

Slowly all the lines and the furniture around us faded away. Only the bed we were on, remained. Gone was the Teddy on top of the drawer. The Teddy Fred got when he was one year old, and says that he does not need anymore because he is a big boy now. Gone was the door, the toy chest on the corner of the room. Gone was the only window too.

Instead of all the familiar furniture and the wall paper, there were wooden boards on the walls and on the floor. Several windows around us, but no door. There were stairs going up and down from the floor we were, and on the corner of the stairs, there was a spinning wheel. I recognized it to be a spinning wheel because all of the papas tenants who had sheep, had spinning wheels in their homes. And when I was younger, I had played many times with the tenants children.

Photo: CC BY-SA 4.0 - Insaneworks

We were too scared to move away from Freds bed, even when we heard someone talk downstairs. I try to remember what they said, but most of it was words that I do not recognize. And Fred started to quietly cry. I finally got few whispers out between my lips and tried to talk calmly to Fred. I think I heard someone say that they need more power to go to the next point. Or perhaps they were talking about some sort of port. Then someone else asked where Curie^@curie was and how unpredictable it was.

We were still shocked and sat on the bed. Suddenly I saw something coming up the stairs. It was a striped, grey cat.^{@cuddlekitten} And it saw us! It looked at us for a brief moment and quickly ran upstairs past our bed. I heard someone with a heavy step come up the stairs, but before I had time to do anything, the breeze came back, the room slowly faded away and I started to see familiar furniture around us. Again I heard the popped corn popping around us. Last thing I heard was a human voice saying: "Where did Curie go? Did you say he went upstairs?"

The strange breeze died and we were back at Freds room again.

I turned to Fred to ask him if he saw the same dream I did, but before I had a change to say anything, my right wrist started to burn. I heard Fred scream and noticed that his left wrist was starting to get red. I noticed a strange red pattern emerging on his wrist. Like a half moon. I looked at my wrist, and the same pattern was there too.

I heard loud noises outside the door and after that my memory is a bit blurry. I heard afterwards that dear papa and mama rushed in and that they said that we were gone half the night, almost 6 hours. They had asked few of their tenants to come and look for us, inside and outside the mansion and that someone had gone to the nearest town to inform the law officers.

They told me that I slept almost the whole next day. And so did Fred.

After that nothing has been the same as before. Papa asked me what had happened and I told him the truth, but I can see it in their eyes that they do not believe me. And I do not blame them. Who would? I could explain to myself that it was just a dream, but if it was just a dream, why others could not see us sleeping in our beds? And where did we get the burn marks?

Mama and papa have not said anything about what they think happened, but I can read it from their eyes. Fred sometimes stops and stares to nothingness. And sometimes he suddenly goes and gets the Teddy and carries it everywhere he goes. The fact that grandmammy has been called here to watch us, watch me, is proof enough for me. My parents, especially my grandmammy and all the servants think I did this to Fred. They think I hid him somewhere in the house and burned his hand. Because I am jealous. But dear diary, you know me! I am not jealous to Fred. I love him. I adore him like everyone else in this family.

I feel utter sadness and I am afraid that my parents send me to boarding school. No more classes with wonderful governess McLaughlin. A sweet and wise teacher who I think I do not deserve.

Because there is more. More things that I have not yet dared to think about. I know I never intended this awful thing to happen, but I think I can not help it. It think I do have something to do with it. I think this happened to Fred because of me.

Why do I think this my dear diary? Because of what happened three months ago. I actually had forgotten it, but it came to me as I heard the same sound again. Felt the same odd breeze.

About three months ago my dear mama was sitting in the living room and reading a book. I was going to greet her when I felt the breeze for the first time. And popped corn popping far away. I heard mama take a deep breath, her book fell down on the floor and she screamed to Alicia. I ran to her, but she didn't seem to see me. Alicia came to her and saw her holding her stomach. She fetched Tobias and and few servants to help mama go to her room. I was just standing there until papa came to me, took a tight grip of my hand and said that mama is asking for me.

Later I learned that she had had a miscarriage.

Dear diary, I now know that I am the one to blame. I am certain of it.

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To be continued...

This story is published under the Creative Commons license CC BY-SA 4.0

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That's it! For now.
Now I need you.

Tell me where to go with my story. Give me a clue or a suggestion.

How?

Comment a short sentence or two. If you have no words, comment with a picture or a photograph. Or a link. Anything! Your words or someone elses. A photograph taken by you or someone else. You can comment more than once, but perhaps not more than 5 suggestions. Before 7 days has gone, I will choose one comment. Or more if I feel like it.

But I don't know what to say!

That's okay. We've all been there at some point. Interesting, but brain all empty. You can also upvote someone else who has commented this post. That may have an influence to my selection.

Important!

If you comment with someone elses words or image, please mention the source also. If you don't mention the source, I assume the words or the image is yours and I will credit you. Words: @[you], images: ©copyright @[you]. If you want to be mentioned in some other way, please attach the text and/or link.

Why?

Well, mainly for fun, but also because depending on what I like, you will be rewarded for your comment. Upvote, SBI, a little bit of STEEM or SBD.

Does the little grammarist inside you cry tears of blood when you read my text?

No worries! Feel free to correct my grammar! I encourage you to do that. You can also suggest something to be changed if you think things could be written better than I have done. Help and suggestions are appreciated. Really. Truly. :)
Why am I using – instead of " " in the dialogue? Answer. _{Because I want to. And because I'm stubborn.}

Yours,
Insanewords

P.S.
This photo is taken inside the observatory Cafe, Oulu, Finland. More photos of the observatory here: outside the tower (second last photo) and a detail of the tower in this post.

Photo: CC BY-SA 4.0 - Insaneworks