Ed and Biggie parted company outside the Dog and Bucket public house following a late liquid lunch. After a highly profitable day all round. Ed had been cleared of all charges and cleared half a million in ransom money. To be honest it wasn't actually ransom in the end. Before they commenced chopping bits off Bradley Sanderson, Ed had tried contacting his wife again. He wasn't confident their five year old daughter would get the full message across. After some negotiation Meryl Sanderson had refused to pay the half million for the return of her missing husband. Her counter offer of a million to not return him was accepted. She wasn't too specific about what she wanted to happen to Brad, as long as he disappeared from her life for good, she was content.
Biggie was disappointed of course. Not to have the opportunity to cut off something. Once the deal was done and Keith had collected the cash, Ed dealt with his devastated partner. Who it had to be said was near inconsolable. Of course there was nothing to say they couldn't have disposed of the hedge fund manager by dismemberment, but there was extra cash to be made out of selling him on to an interested buyer. There were plenty of multi-billionaires out there who loved nothing more than killing helpless victims after hunting them down on a tropical island. It was all the rage these days. Biggie had his whittling knife out though. He'd expected some whittling. So he whittled "PENIS" onto Sanderson's forehead. Prick wouldn't fit after he made the first P too big.
It wasn't about the money. Ed really didn't have any need for it. Anything he wanted or needed he stole. Stealing was more fun than buying stuff. With the added advantage you didn't have to queue at the checkout. Not unless you were robbing it. Money wasn't even a way to keep score. Life was like a game of Monopoly. You went round in circles, then every so often you'd get a tax demand. Daisy had asked him if he drank and took drugs to forget all the terrible things he'd done and the people he'd killed. To which he'd honestly replied he drank and took drugs to alleviate the boredom of not killing people. Monopoly can do that to you. There are only so many Chance and Community Chest cards you can turn over before you become homicidal.
All in all it had been an entertaining and productive day. Ed hadn't had many of those recently. With Andy as his in home entertainment system he'd allowed things to slide. Thinking back he was amazed to discover it had been well over a year since anyone had attempted to kill him. Hopefully this would start the ball rolling again. You couldn't go through life killing people without making a few enemies. Then killing them. No he definitely needed to pull his socks up. Wearing some in the first place would be a good start. They didn't go with his slippers though.
Andy had traveled this road before. Not this actual particular road, but other roads which were similar. Through experience he'd learned not to sneak up on people. Daisy sprang to mind as someone he should avoid sneaking up on. He'd seen some of her handiwork as he'd followed the two women. With this in mind, he hailed them as soon as he was in sight. Let them know he was heading into their camp. If he'd been expecting a warm welcome, he'd have been sadly disappointed. They both said hi, but that was it. He brought them up to date with all that had happened since he'd discovered they'd passed through the portal into the unknown. While Daisy dried her hair and Caroline cooked something that had the misfortune to sneak up on Daisy.
"So basically." Caroline commenced. "What you're saying is, upon suspecting we'd ended up here, you rushed home. Then you spent about an hour dicking about, before deigning to follow us."
"That's about right. I did make sandwiches though. And I brought your phone."
He handed it to her. She looked at it.
"Um... Thanks and everything, but what am I going to do with it? There's no service here."
Daisy had joined them.
"Yeah we tried mine as soon as we came out of that cave. What sandwiches have you got?"
He took off his backpack.
"Ham and cheese."
"With mayo?" She asked.
"Yes indeed."
"I don't like mayo. I prefer English mustard on my ham and cheese. I'll stick with what we've got."
This wasn't going as badly as he'd expected. No one had hit him yet and the insults weren't backing up.
"What else did you bring with you?" Caroline inquired.
"I've got some rope. That can be really handy. A couple of big kitchen knives and a Glock 19 with four spare clips. Oh and I also brought a compass."
He handed it to her proudly. Caroline examined it. Turning around as she did.
"It's broken." She declared, handing it back.
He grinned knowingly.
"Yes I know. It has to be or it wouldn't work."
She looked at him as if he were insane.
"What the hell are you on about?"
"Well according to Ed, as long as you follow the bearing on the broken compass you'll always end up at the exit."
She shook her head tutting and rolling her eyes.
"After all this time with Ed you didn't work out he was bullshitting you?
"Ah yes, but when Ed bullshits it actually works."
"So you've used this broken compass to get to the exit before then?"
Some of his confidence in what he was saying vanished.
"Not exactly. I've been with Ed though and he swears by the compass. It's never let him down. The needle always points at 179 degrees. You follow the needle and you get home. Unless something kills you."
"Not much chance of that happening with Daisy being here. You do realize that no matter which direction you're looking in the needle will always be pointing at 179 degrees?"
"Precisely." He grinned.
Her face indicated she was trying to encourage him to use some reason and logic. All it did was confuse him.
"Oh shit. Whichever direction we go in that needle will always point...."
Daisy interjected.
"I'd give up now if I were you Carrie. There's no way he'll understand. I don't suppose you've got anything really useful in your backpack. Ed for instance?"
Bless him, he had a look.
"No I'm afraid not. He'll probably be at the exit knowing him."
The two women were looking at one another.
"What do you think?" Daisy murmured half heartedly.
"I think we've got bugger all to lose pandering to his delusion. How do you know Ed will be at the exit?" Her girlfriend replied."
"I've left him a note to say we're here and whenever I've accidentally gone through the interdimensional doorway on my own he's always been at the exit."
"Yep. That sounds like your logic. Now despite my instincts I'm going to ask you a question, which I think I already know the answer to. How will we know when we reach the exit?"
"That's easy. Ed will be there."
She faced palmed.
"Oh shit. I knew he was going to say that, but I still had to ask."
The three of them set off on a bearing of 179 degrees, some half hour later. Daisy had made herself some alternative footwear. She'd already ruined her jacket, it wasn't worth risking her heels. As they walked Andy gave his explanation of where they were. Caroline had been correct. This was a Jurassic forest. They weren't in that era though. At least not all the time. They could well pass through other eras on their journey. It was different every time, unless you knew the secret, as Ed did. There had been many an afternoon when he'd taken a three week long vacation. It was one of those time things.
When they cleared the forest evidence of this emerged. Off in the distance stood a medieval castle. Half a mile further on they were walking along a beach. It occurred to Caroline to point out they weren't traveling in a straight line. The landscape dictated they took turns. After which they'd still be heading along the same bearing on the broken compass. The trio paused at the top of a grass covered hill, watching a battle take place in the valley below. It was best not to get involved, Andy advised. While you weren't going to alter history, the residents would resent any interference. The sun was setting when they made camp. That, combined with the distance they'd walked, led Andy to predict they'd be back at the house before bedtime. All they needed to do was keep an eye out for Ed.