I was going to do a bullshit template for celebrities to copy and paste. Excuses for their racist, homophobic, sexist, transphobic and Islamophobic posts to social media a few years ago. They've got that all sewn up though. It's the general I was young, lived in a cave, raised by wolves and didn't understand anything about how hurtful my comments were. Now I'm grown up and have attained this wondrous thing called knowledge/enlightenment/an education/a career and have realized the harm my hatred could cause to my profile and ultimately the all important bottom line. Then they go on to let you know they promise they will pretend to care about these repressed minorities that no one knew about six years ago. From this point onward they've instructed the team who look after all their social media accounts not to post anything inflammatory. In the meantime they are open to offers to advertise any old piece of shit, for the right price. They will pretend to have tried every poisonous potion you require them to do. Then "recommend" it to their legions of gullible, moronic followers. This isn't advertising. I actually did try this cyanide laden diet product and I lost a lot of weight as this heavily Photoshopped before and after picture shows.
(The copyright to this image is the property of Make a Meme.)
Jake crashed into something hard and, though he was still holding her hand, Scarlet managed to vault over it. Effortlessly, as usual. Damn. How had Morag managed to appropriate so much tech from the ship? Was a question that could wait for now. A lightning fast recce of the lower floor failed to find their friend.
"She's headed up the stairs. Stop her." Scarlet directed him.
He was the closest, thanks to his ineptitude. The slowing of time kicked in, as his senses accelerated. Morag was already near the top of those steps. Holding something in her left hand. Something explosive no doubt. She was moving fast. he was moving a lot faster. Half way up in a single step as his body became fully Wanderer enhanced. It was still too slow. The red head's finger squeezed the trigger on that device. The one that would incinerate everything inside the reciprocal force field. Ironic, considering the adventure they'd so recently returned from. Now he had to get as much distance as possible between them and that thing. Hope they'd be able to recover enough bits to revive them. He dived. tackling Morag to the floor.
"Fuck me, you're strong." He squeaked, her knee impacting his groin solidly.
There was a look of horror on her face. She knew she'd doomed them all with her suicide. Despite that she was still instinctively wrestling with him. Wanting to die. Something flashed over their wriggling bodies. It was Scarlet, of course it was. She hit the release on the window shutter. It dropped, and he knew what she was going to do. Save the day, like she'd done a million times before. One punch and Morag was out cold. He tore the bomb from her nerveless fingers throwing it towards his partner. The acrobatic scissor kick sent it through the glass. Arcing out into open, passing through the one way shield exploding in a flash of brilliant light. In the struggle Morag's shirt had torn open. He respectfully pulled it closed.
"Are you coping a feel?" Scarlet insinuated accusingly.
He pushed himself up to his knees, still straddling Morag's unconscious body. Then collapsed backwards, cradling his tenders.
"Yeah. I thought she owed me after driving my gonads up into my lungs." He winced as he checked out the damage more thoroughly. "We were damn lucky she didn't set it to go off instantly. I wonder why she put in a delay."
Scarlet pushed open a door, looking inside.
"I think I can take a pretty good guess. Take a look. She'll be out for a while."
Easier said than done. Clambering to his feet, as carefully as possible, he waddled over.
"Ah. I see."
What he saw was a wall covered in diagrams and representations of a familiar design. The body that would have greeted Morag on her visit to Angelique's citadel. Less perfect, more realistic.
"It looks like she was planning on setting the timer, then ensuring her last sight would be her ideal man. She must have been working 24/7 from the start. Then she found out her project was impossible.By my reckoning she'd already decided to end it all before we got here. She was finishing it as we arrived. Talking to us was a delaying tactic."
His eyes moved back to the body lying on the floor. That impressive chest rising and falling gently.
"This is all my fault. If not for me she wouldn't have tried to create the body for Hermes. None of this would have happened."
Scarlet shoved him.
"Don't get all self critical. Something like this would have happened eventually. The heart wants what it wants, or else it does not care."
He shivered at that.
"I said those exact words to Pip." He stepped further into the room. There were more schematics. on the other walls. She'd even mapped out the frigging chromosomes necessary. "What do you think finally tipped her over the edge? Apart from no sleep for 3 or 4 days."
The voice came from the top of the stairs. Ureniel was kneeling over Morag, while Pip stroked her hand.
"The limitations of the human genome, I would surmise." He stated softly. "The amount of data necessary for a complete computer personality to be transferred fully intact would have rendered the body incapable of survival. Hermes is the product of many experiences. Millions of lines of code. Unpack that and you'd require several brains to hold it. Even then it wouldn't be able to move or breathe."
The Wanderer's wandered over to them.
"Does that mean it's impossible?" Jake asked, dreading the answer.
"By no means. Elves are immortal. I still hold memories of my childhood 65,000 years ago. With a few modifications it's eminently attainable without compromising the humanity of the body. As Wanderer's you have your own tricks to increase your cognitive capacity. Your life spans dwarf all but the eldest of my kin. There are ways around most problems of a biological nature."
The elf pulled off part of his sleeve. It became a stiff strip, which when applied to the patients temples went back to being flexible. Sticking to her forehead. Her eyes flickered open. Emerald green and shining.
"My apologies for all that stuff before."Jake offered, shame faced. Morag blinked benignly at him. "What exactly does that thing do? Not that I'm complaining." He adjusted his testicles.
"It will soothe her emotions. You won't get much out of her until it's removed I'm afraid. Which I wouldn't recommend."
Morag was helped to her feet, then led away. Jake's gaze followed her.
"You're still blaming yourself aren't you." Scarlet commented.
"Sort of. I think this was the jolt I needed to make up my mind. I'd already decided in a way, but I'd have postponed things. Being without Hermes is going to be a wrench. There's no doubt about that. It's top priority now. I want every effort made to get this body made."
"He's been very quiet, through all this."
"Oh shit. I forgot to tell him he can talk now. There you go. That's why this had to happen this way. Hermes has to have his freedom from being my slave."
The two of them set off down the stairs.
"So... You going to instruct him he's allowed to talk now?"
"Hell no. I'm going to make the most of it while I still can. Once he get's his freedom I'll never be able to shut him up. I'm hoping Morag will keep him occupied."
Outside they found a fair few people had assembled. That explosion had attracted some attention. In this peaceful place that was easy to understand. Sade was there with the others. Her arm around her friend. Half carrying the engineer. Back to Her's and Fetu's place it looked like. Ureniel walking along beside them, giving instructions on what to do no doubt. Everyone rapidly lost interest in what had been going on. Once they knew their assistant engineer and medic was indisposed, that received all their attention. Sonora and Alvar strolled over. To join the Wanderer's. Offering only a greeting before lapsing into silence. Poppy ran up to Morag, checked all was well, then headed over.
"We've found what should be the gate to the world Daisy's folk headed to." She informed them. "That's the good news. The bad news is it's a periodic one. They all are I suppose but this one only opens every 117 years. If we're right, the last time it was passable was about forty or so years ago. And it's about 800 kilometers in that direction. On the far side of those mountains. Only we think it's on a completely different island. Norbert's updating the systems as we speak. The calibration needs a lot of work. We think we've got a margin of error of less than ten percent right now. That's it I think."
Jake put one arm around her and the other around Scarlet.
"Where is Daisy by the way. I haven't seen her since we got back. About half an hour ago."
"She went exploring with Ursella and Gungthor. They left yesterday. They've got their communicators with them. You can contact them whenever you like."
He turned to his boss.
"What do you think, my lady?"
Scarlet snaked her arm around his waist, resting her head on his shoulder.
"I think we should leave them be for now. We've got things to be getting on with. House hunting for example."
Sonora and Alvar, who were still accompanying them, interjected.
"I think we, and everyone else, thought you'd be sequestering the mansion. We were hoping you'd have some sort of celebration. Pip mentioned something about a ball you'd thrown for her. We'd quite like to see what one looks like. That's if we're invited."
"Of course you are. I was... Otherwise engaged when they held the last one. I'd quite like to find out what I'd look like wearing corsets and a hooped skirt. Now let's go see if we can get Sade to program the replicators to produce something suitably Victorian for us. I want the works. From furniture to fixtures. Let's leave a mark on this place. One that isn't a big patch of scorched earth."