GUIDE: How to Run 10km Without Training

DISCLAIMER: This guide is written purely based on my own experience of running a handful of 10 km runs. There is no general guide to exercise and every type and form differs in its intensity for other individuals as no two people are alike, even twins. Consult your doctor before you undertake any strenuous exercise. I and/or this blog/guide will not be held responsible for any injury and/or charges filed against you for following the advice you read here, use it at your own risk. Eat your vegetables. Love your parents.

So the Standard Charted Marathon 2018 is around the corner and for those who've not given up on your new year's resolution to commit to a healthier lifestyle, you deserve...

absolutely nothing

It's only been a little over a month. Get off your high horse. Scoot. SCRAM!

And for those who gave up in hour 2 of your new years resolution BUT would like to attempt at it again because you believe that nothing changes when the clock strikes twelve on the 1st of January every year except your long hanging existential dread that if you never do anything about anything in the world you'll feel like a total miserable failure...

Then welcome to my guide! Here are some pro tips and tricks to get you started (derived from my own misguided experience of huffing, puffing, and horking down an obnoxiously large meal post run).

Pro Tips and Tricks

1. Determination
   Although running a 10 km route without any formal training is DO-able, some might find it extremely difficult especially if they keep a sedentary lifestyle and such individuals may find their bodies screaming in pain after the first 7 minutes (or less, results may vary). The best part? You'll never see it coming. You'd just be running happily along for 3 to 5 minutes and then both exhaustion and regret will hit you harder than Muhammad Ali's right hook.
   
   So during this time, it's extremely vital to have high amounts of determination (purchase at your local pharmacy, consult your physician before use). Remember, your body is screaming at you a plethora of carefully constructed vulgarities but you have to remember, IT WAS YOUR FAULT! Your sedentary lifestyle did this to you, no one else.
   
   So the only way to get past psychological process is to constantly remind yourself that it's not about how many people you (attempt) to make eat your dust, but it's whether you make it to the finish line like a champ, or a chump, that counts. Once past the finish line, collapse without fear of being judged because, hey, you did it!
   
   
   Determination is literally the effort to continue going, even if you're running through shit - Leonardo da Vinci
   
2. Pace yourself
   This is very old running advice handed down to my family for generations. It's extremely important to pace yourself as you'll conserve energy and keep you going longer than the Queen of England's reign. It's best to start slow, and then slowly pick up your speed BUT ONLY until your heart and lungs start shooting dirty looks at you. They're not happy with what you're doing to them but they're not going to corner you in a back-alley any time soon either.
   
   So pick a pace that is just about comfortable. If you're running with a friend, a pace where you are able to carry out a decent conversation without getting out of breath is decent (although talking between panting noises sounds completely wrong.
   
   Under no circumstance should you ever slow down to walk, especially early in. If you feel  the need to start walking, go into a brisk walk instead but only do this when you're halfway in and for 5 minutes max or your heart rate will begin to slow and before you know it you're sitting at the Bak Kut Teh stall.
   
3. Motivation
   We humans are visual creatures (with men being more visual) and that's why platforms like Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat do so well (as well as brands like Victoria Secret). This tip is something that you can use to your advantage to motivate yourself to run longer (and maybe faster, but only as fast as your "source of motivation" is going) by soaking in the "sights" most of these runs provide.
   
   What you can do is to pick someone with a steady pace which you think you can handle. Next, check if said target has a cute butt. If both requirements are met, initiate the tailing process (whoever feels disgusted by this, to you I say, I'm just highlighting what everyone is ALREADY doing. And if you don't do it, get off your high horse, you know you do lol).
   
   Do not however stare too directly because that's just creepy and may result in heavy panting, which is something you do not want as you're already panting heavily at this point. You may also lose concentration and run into other people.
   
   Make use of your peripheral vision, or if you must stare directly, get yourself a pair of sport shades with mirror lenses. HOWEVER, under no circumstance should you reach out and touch that butt. You are only allowed to tail it. I will not be held responsible if you end up cuffed flat on your face at the side of the road.
   
   
   Butts are a great source of motivation - Abraham Lincoln
   
4. Wear appropriate undergarments
   It is extremely important to also select comfortable, breathable and appropriate undergarments. For men, select a pair of comfortable briefs, and if you don't want to wear briefs but prefer going freebird, by all means, go ahead BUT I WARN YOU, without appropriate equipment harness (tigh briefs, not too tight, you don't want to cross your testicles or have them sucked into your chest cavity) you might run the risk of developing testicular hernia.
   
   That way you can't go freebird no more and would probably have to wear a hernia harness the rest of your life especially if you choose not to go for the corrective procedure which involves you being completely awake while the doctor gropes and fondles at your scrotum trying to cut it open, tie it up and sew it back into place. One run freebird free run wouldn't hurt now, would it?
   
   
   
   This or that, you take your pick - George Orwell
   
   Girls, wear decent Lycra pants (this will aid in motivating other runners, do your part for the community, show your support as a fellow runners) which are comfortable and breathable as well as a decent sports bra.
   
   Take care of the twins for they lie close to your heart and I'm sure you'll want them to be all perky and good when you meet that hot stud at the finish line.
   
   I unfortunately have no idea what comfortable sports bras are so why not leave your preferred brands in the comments section so other readers can benefit from them! And hey, I'm sure they all come in many pretty colours and cool designs too!
   
5. Wear appropriate clothing
   Now, please, by all means, wear whatever you want, but dress appropriately and by appropriately I don't mean in a sexual sense, but it's important to wear breathable clothing you're comfortable with.
   
   A good pair of shorts and a running jersey would do well (or any sport jersey too especially if the material they use helps you stay cool, unless it rains, then it's not my fault) but under no circumstance should you ever, EVER dress like you bought out an entire Nike store, even if you DO have the cash for it.
   
   Remember, it's your first time running and you don't want to look like some pretentious jerk because most runners would not hesitate to beat you into traffic with a stick. Don't give me that crap about "But the cool gear motivates me to run!". You don't need to buy expensive stuff to motivate yourself. If you do need motivation, read tip number 3. Motivation.
   
   
   Do not look like you can outrun a Ferrari, when in truth, a Prius could take you standing still - Confucius
   
6. Wear proper shoes
   This tip pretty much speaks for itself. No school shoes, no Converse, no John Lobbs no Aldos, Jimmy Choos, etc. just some proper running shoes for Christ's sake. Something comfortable with mobility and support, and it doesn't have to be expensive either.
   
   Also, try not to wear basketball shoes if you can help it, they're quite heavy. And if you must run with brand spanking new shoes, you WILL chaff (something everyone can man or woman up to I suppose).
   
   If you really have nothing, you can go barefoot. Yes, barefoot. Just strap your slippers to your pouch and go. In my opinion and experience, it's the best feeling in the world (I run barefoot most of the time now) and no it does not hurt. Just be mindful where you step and what you step on.
   
   Running barefoot however takes more concentration to your surrounding paths so this might interfere with tip number 3. Motivation.
   
7. Bring some gear
   Running can be quite boring, but seriously, it's only 10km, it's not that long to bore you to death. I've got tons of playlists on Spotify on my iPhone and it makes it less of a chore. Find some nice beat pumping music, but don't turn up with something like jazz lest you fall asleep at the side of the road cause most of these races start early in the morning. So yeah, bring your own entertainment, but no iPad's, yes I know you were thinking it "Wait he didn't mention anything about iPads, I know it's a stupid idea and maybe I should highlight it oh wait I'm reading this part now k".
   
   Next, it's good to have a decent sports pouch to strap to your waist or sling around your chest. It'll carry your phone/iPod/wallet/car keys/big-stick-to-beat-pretentious-people-into-traffic-with. Also, bring along a zip-loc bag if your pouches are not waterproof just in case it rains mid run so your stuff will stay dry.
   
   But please, PLEASE do not turn up with those 42 km belts that carry your bottles of energy solution, it's a 10 km run, you don't need that, if you do turn up with that, you need to be beaten into traffic, with a stick.
   
   
   
   A perfect example of both sensible running gear and motivation, a model citizen - Morgan Freeman
   
8. Stay hydrated
   This is pretty much common sense. You don't need to lug around a bottle of water to do so, there are water stops along the way. But remember, only drink what you SHOULD need because drinking what you need would probably leave you gulping 26 litres of water where you'll slip into a water induced coma, again, at the side of the road).
   
   You only really need one or two cups and then carry on running. Drinking too much can actually cause you to have stitches in your side which would interfere with your running time (which is why it's also not a good idea to bring a water bottle, you'd be drinking from it way too often for your own good).
   
   
   Please do not do this - Mahatma Gandhi
   
9. Eat your carbohydrates
   You can make up for your lack of stamina by increasing the amount of energy you are able to put into your run, you just wont be as efficient. Just like a brand new car versus an old one, they both might be able to make the long journey in the same amount of time but the old car might require more fuel, just like you, you old car you.
   
   But this is nothing to be embarrassed about, it's actually a good excuse to eat all the carbs you want. I personally find that pasta is a good source of carbs and flavour and it digests much faster than rice and bread (I don't know how but it's what I've found out).
   
   What's important is to eat your carbs about 8 to 10 hours before your gun off time. Eat them too close and you'll be a lethargic mess while too far will be in vain because you'd have either burnt it off or stored it as fat.
   
   You can also have half an energy bar (most races provide these) but only half, remember, you're close to gun off time and if you're munching away on a bar near the starting grid, those things make you really, REALLY thirsty (see tip 8. Stay hydrated).
   
   Hi, Gandhi here again, do not do this either - Mahatma Gandhi
   
10. Keep it real and have fun
    This is the most important part of all. Just keep it real, you're not here to impress anyone but yourself. You magnificent beast you. You woke up, dragged yourself out of bed, slogged to the starting grid with the will to do something. And if you will it hard enough, you WILL make finishing time, I know you can because I've done it, and if you can't do something I've done, you need to reevaluate your priorities.
    
    What's also important is to have as much fun as you can, soak in the "sights", think about what else you want to do after this, make a resolution to ditch that sedentary lifestyle and get that dream body you've always wanted. Everything requires a start, but the winners are the ones who keep going.
    
    You can even drag a friend along if you want but you'd probably have to drag them out of bed too (or probably drag their bed along for more severe cases) but having a running buddy makes it less lonely.
    
    Lastly, keep it real. Don't let all the other runners blazing past you with jerseys that say "Hurdle the weak, trample the fallen" spoil your day. Remember, you're here for nobody else but yourself. At best, if you come across a pretentious douche-jerk, you can always beat them into traffic, with a stick! ;)
    
    
    
    If no magical stick of wellness is available, any stick will do, make sure it's big and hard. If you have any running and/or fitness tips, share them in the comments!