Often, self sabotaging and self-defeating behaviors are unavoidable. If you're constantly sabotaging your own progress, there are a few simple ways to stop them. Identifying your triggers is the first step. Emotions such as sadness, frustration, and fear can all be natural and can be helpful when they're part of a larger problem.
First, make a list of triggers for your self-sabotage. What are they? Do they include avoidance, conflict-creation, and control? Once you know the triggers for your self-sabotage, you can work on changing them. If you're experiencing difficulty changing the behavior on your own, seek professional help from a licensed therapist. BetterHelp offers online therapy for a low price.
Keep a diary. Write down the circumstances that trigger your self-sabotaging and self-defeating behavior. Keeping a diary can help you identify the pattern and identify when it's happening. Keeping a diary can help you track when your self-defeating behavior occurs, and it can lead to more successful behavior. For example, if your boss was in deep thought, you may have felt like he/she was thinking deeply about the situation.
If your goal is to achieve happiness, you should stop self-sabotaging and self-defeating behaviors. It is very easy to sabotage yourself by constantly procrastinating or forgetting deadlines. Self-sabotage can damage your reputation because people will perceive you as unreliable, lazy, and uncommitted. Moreover, it can also affect your relationship with others. It can make you feel guilty and embarrassed, which can lead to low self-esteem.
Avoidance of failure. People who experience self-sabotage tend to behave in ways that confirm their negative beliefs about themselves. People with low self-esteem have been told their entire lives that they will fail, and thus seek consistency in their beliefs and their actions. Keeping yourself under the gun can lead to a destructive cycle, so tackling it early is essential. It is never too late to improve your life.
Identifying your triggers. Self-destructive behavior is often a habit that can be difficult to break. Even though it is hard to overcome, mistakes can teach us how to curb them. To stop self-sabotaging and self-defeating behaviors, identify your triggers and try to overcome them. You may find that some of these techniques will work for you may not need any help.
Pay attention to your emotions. When you feel angry or anxious, it's possible that you're self-sabotaging. Self-sabotage is rooted in irrational thoughts, and examining your thoughts is the best way to identify them. If you notice your own negative self-talk, write it down and make note of it. These thoughts will become less frequent as you work to change them.
Set goals for yourself. Make goals that are meaningful to you and paired with specific actions. Consider your deepest values and identify small actions that will help you get closer to your goal. Remember, habits are formed by small steps, so replace one thought or behavior every day to make the change habitual. The process will take time, so make sure you're patient. You might need to try several times before you see any improvement.