#ULOG 9 | The Elder Brother I Never Had

Bros J & I (I'm the one in glasses)

Family transcends blood

One of the many things I've been received is the gift of friendship. It is a gift I value so much. For me, friends are angels on earth. They always guide you along the path of life, hold your hand when the journey becomes rough and keep you warm in the coldest winter. They can be demons too. They can push you know escapades and leave you to suffer the brunt alone. But it's all for fun. In the end, friends are wonderful.

However, I have been privileged to have more than friends. I now have a family.

Always Wished For Someone Older

I'm the firstborn of my parents. From a tender age, I had always felt like I wasn't the firstborn. Maybe I don't just like the position - I mean, a lot is expected of me; my younger ones look up to me to set an example. Anyway, I always felt like I had an older brother or sister. Someone who was born before me but died before I was old enough to remember.

Know my quest to find the truth, I told my immediate younger sister my problem. She then went to my mother and explained everything. My mother simply smiled and told us I was the first child. In fact, I was conceived in the same year that they were married. At that point, I knew there was no big brother or sister to look up to. I had to figure out the world and its expectations on my own.

Enter John Akindulureni (Bros J)

When I gained admission into Obafemi Awolowo University, ile-ife, Nigeria, I tried as much as I could to blend in. In my first year, I stayed in a very large house with other students. I tried to be as respectful as I could be. However, someone always wanted to exploit me. That person was John Akindulureni. I call him Bros J

Bros J would always send me on errands. He was a graduate at the time I entered the University so he seemingly had every right to boss me around. I would be seeing a movie and he'll just call for me and send me on some errand. He also made me do the dishes almost everytime.

Within a short time, he became my bully. I would try to avoid him each time he was in the house. Unfortunately, there were very few rooms in the house so it was always easy for him to locate me. Before long, I was his personal errand boy. I never liked it.

The Bullied Becomes Friends With The Bully

There's one good thing about Bros J. Whenever he sends me on errands, he always asked that I get something for myself. At first I considered it as some kind of bribe so I always declined the offer. Soon I began to take advantage of it.

Another thing was that he always had my back. Remember I struggled to fit in? Well, that was a failure. I never could. But whenever someone called my character into question, Bros J would stand in for me. It turned out that all those times, he was busy understudying my person, my character, my motives. Before long, he knew me more than anyone ever did.

And yes, he was the first person to trust me. He would send me on special errands, assign important tasks to me and also tell me stuff about himself. Soon I knew about his girlfriend, his family and life aspirations. I trusted him in return. In fact, he's the first and only person I've ever spoken to freely about my poem addiction. With time, we began to share a lot of stuff.

Bros J Is Family

After a while, it became obvious that our relationship was special. He would always give me guidance. The fact that he was older and more experienced made me often look up to him in many ways. He slowly became less of a friend and more of a brother. We talked about our families like we were members of the same family.

My Heart Bleeds Gratitude

Each time I think about Bros J and our unique relationship, I'm grateful. I'm happy that he took me in, that he 'bullied' me for a while. I mean, don't all big brother bully their younger ones for a while. I'm grateful to have been loved. I'm grateful to have a big brother.

Thanks for reading

Blessings