Fear of failure, fear of dying, fear of solitude…. There is an endless amount of things you can fear. Reasonable and irrational. It is reasonable to fear bears if you live in the woods in middle of grizzly bear habitat, but is that really reasonable fear them in middle of city? I think we all have some fears, not like them all disturb our daily lives, but some do, for some people. Fear is something necessary to humankind, or it used to be. Evolution has created certain amount of fear just to help humankind to survive, but what if fear becomes something that shadows your whole life, and you don’t even realize that you are living in total darkness?
Fear of losing control
I thought I had no irrational fears. In generally speaking, I don’t feel fear too much. But I shocked even my self when I had to take a surgery and I felt enormous fear rising. Not really because of surgery, but because of people. I don’t trust people, so when there is equation where is people, drugs and knives, I had nightmare in my hands. I don’t really have fear of dying. Of course that would suck, but we all die, that is something we can’t avoid. But when I have to give away control and self-determination I feel anxious, like my personal world would collapse if I don’t hold all the strings in my own hands.
Okay, I had a surgery and nothing happened, no apocalypse, not in my own personal world, nor in world in general. What a disappointment…
Fear of not being fully in charge of your self have been somewhat a big deal for a long time. I don’t like to lose that control, ever. Even if I seemingly give up that control, like while having my precious gin, I still maintain most control, I just let it loosen up a little. I have witnessed too many times in my life what happens when people lose control, and it ain’t pretty for me. I like to be fully responsible from my actions, no matter how dumb they may be.
Fear of missing out
AH, the all and mighty FOMO. Usually people link FOMO together with photographing but for me it is also more than fear of losing the picture of the perfect sunset. I fear that I’m missing out of experiences because of responsibilities. Adulting is so boring, that I think we all should have certain amount of FOMO in us. The common has tendency to kill our sense of time. Thought that ”I’ll do it tomorrow, later, next week” slopes into our minds more and more often, until it is only thing we do. Should, would, could yet still, never do, did, done.
I respect my parents, but I disagree the way of life they are living. There is no surprises there, all routine, I get it, it works. But it is also way of life that will drown you. Days turn into weeks, weeks into months and months into years, and after 30 years you realize you haven’t fulfill not even one dream of yours and the routines of life have slaved you and drowned you alive.
The thought of suffocating into my own life frightens me.And I think it totally should frightens me. I’m only 27years old, and I just realized that I have wasted almost 10 years of my life, for doing nothing and something, I really can’t even tell. It just vanished into thin air. I have listened in this past year several people and I can hear so much regret in all those voices.
”I wish I had traveled more…”
” I wish I had chased my dreams..”
” I wish I hadn’t work so much..”
” I wish I had stopped more often..”
There really would be like a million examples more.
I don’t think wishing anything afterwards helps. Okay, I think I should have thought this earlier, but fact is I didn’t, that is something I have to live with. I’m pleased that I thought it now, even if it took too much time to realize that we only have this one change. No retakes. I regret that I didn’t do things earlier, but I decided that I’m not going to waste any more opportunities, for all it matters you only live once.
Fear it!
How about those things you should fear? Or at least some people seems to think so. You should fear dying alone!( Lol, or just dying!) You should fear losing! You should fear solitude, and you should fear not being independent. Fear is like glass over our heads. For some time it can help us, keep us safe. But time comes when the thing that used to be shelter for us, is preventing our growth. I think we should fear the fear it self. I do fear it.
I fear that I block opportunities from my life because of some lame excuse which I use just to drape the real reason behind the excuse. I fear that the fear it self takes control of my actions, and there it is, my life long friend: Fear of losing control.
Fear not?
I like to keep my self somewhat as a free spirit (Well, not the hippie way) I want to be able to enjoy my life fearlessly in general’s. I need to be able to grow, so I want to break trough from that that glass dome that once protected me and gave me tools for survival. The world don’t need to agree with my choices. It just have to cope with them. This past year, I have broke more shackles than ever before, and I finally feel like I can breath a little. I have lost a lot people from my life, and I totally get it. It isn’t easy for radical conservatives to understand hunger of freedom from everything that used to be.
There is a lot of things some people think I should fear, because of the way of life I have chosen to live. Like solitude. Independence is something people value, until you reach certain age, then you have to start live in fear. I should fear that I don’t find somebody who is willing to have a relationship with me. I should fear that I never get married, nor have kids. I should fear that my independence has backfired and I end up having 15 cats.
I should fear that I’m not ordinary. But do I even want life like that? Fear not, because everything I seemingly should fear is not worth of that feeling. I braise those things, not fear them. Except cats. NEVER going to get cats.
There is no point to fix something that isn’t broken. But sometimes, is there a point to break something that is solid?
It's weird, fear isn't really but an anticipation of how we are going to handle a becoming challenge. It is about a future moment that isn't even here, thus not being fully part of reality, but of a continuity based on the past where we were told and led to believe what we can or cannot do. All the talk about the future is nothing but speculation, which in fact might become true, not because it couldn't have gone the other way around, but because the anticipation itself affected it, thus, the end result being biased and not objective truth on what could've, should've or might've been.
Self-fulfilling prophesies; they're dangerous, but also powerful.
Only way to validate the fear is to confront it in practice by one's self, give it all and see whether something actually was unattainable or not. Of course there is a risk it goes horribly wrong, but still, the outcome is only part of an imagined continuum of reality playing out in our head that isn't here yet.
Having broken some of my fears, I have noticed most of the fears are only barriers inside our head, not in the real world, irrational.
This of course doesn't mean one should confront his/her fears by rock climbing without fail-safe, no, that's just stupidity.
Confronting fears is an ability of an open mind to realize even one's own expectations might in fact be fallible.
Only one try confronting the fear and suddenly you get a positive feedback which shifts your past view completely upside down. It creates a new paradigm on how to relate to whatever it was you took on. Then later looking from the other side realizing "how unreasonable all the fear in fact was".
Damn, @escapist, you got me thinking! Well done!
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I can see that! I'm thrilled that I made you think ! I like the idea where balance between bravery and idiotism with our fears. There will be moments when that weird irrational fear become reasonable and other way around. Sometimes the most reasonable fears are in fact just irrational.
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Everybody truly have something to fear. I have lots of fears and at night when I lie on my bed and ponder on all that i could have done, all that I could have become, I become afraid of what is in front of me. My biggest fear is ending up old, broke and alone. Yet, I push people away and rather spend time with myself than with people. It is weird but that is me.
I want to be free to do what I want, when I want to. I am afraid that if I fly to high, I will fly forever, never touch the ground and never find my way back home.
I have broken some chains like you and k am working on others. I will be free of fear
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I think that by knowing and accepting that this is what i fear, is the most important step to overcome that fear. I used to think i was afaird to end up alone. But i understood that i was even more afraid to end up spending and sharing my life with people i dont respect or have anything common. I rather be free, happy with my self and alone than in mental prison.
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nice writing good job keep it up bro
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Well well. So even emotionless, never sleeping creatures of the night are familiar with the concept of fear. I would like to say that wizards are different. Buttt...
Fear of being ordinary. generic. boring. Having mediocre goals, dreams and ambitions.
Fear of reaching the limit of my creativity/ losing my ability to create- the thought that at some point I could burn out of my passion is frightening. To no longer have any new ideas. To stop trying new things. To stop feeling joy with what I do. Or getting into physical or mental chains that would prevent me from creating. alzheimer. paralysis. insanity. Blindness. These and similar nasty things could totaly fuck up my life.
Fear of being forgotten. I don't care that much about how, where or when I will die. As long as I get to live the life I want to live these little questions are not important at all. But if no one will remember me than perhaps that means that I never lived? that I am just part of someone else dream. Relevant only for a brief moment and then replaced with a new dream?
From what I recall we already had a few discussions about freedom and relationships. My point of view remains unchanged in that regard. I value my freedom and I value myself. So getting into any girl so much that I would lose myself is a scary thought. I could maybe give away portion of my freedom if I would find a truly extraordinary girl who would be worthy of that sacrifice. But I have absolutely no intention of losing who I am. No one is worthy of that. My art, my dreams, my passions, my goals, my hobbies are all part of who I am. And they will remain important no matter what happens.
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