Having concluded his call, Ed took time to consider their next action. While he was doing this it was the perfect opportunity to have a closer look at the bound and gagged kidnapee. He was still a bit groggy. Due to either the drugs or the prolonged savage beating. Ed really didn't like hedge fund managers. Biggie just liked kicking ribs. It had been a while since he'd paced, so Ed paced. Back and forth across the dimly lit room, accompanied by the sounds of wood carving emanating from the far corner. Was he losing his edge? Kidnapping used to be a lot easier than this. Before GPS, smartphones and DNA evidence. The technology had moved on in huge strides. Maybe that was why things weren't going along as intended. Of course the people operating that technology were as moronic as they'd always been. Now there were far more opportunities to prove how stupid you were. People were taking advantage of that.
Could it possibly be something he'd done wrong? That didn't seem likely. Whenever Ed did something wrong it was always in the right way. That was his MO. Construct a half assed plan with little to no chance of success, then as soon as the action started ignore it. If he was losing his edge it was because he hadn't been teetering on it for a while. He'd put a lot of people in the ground during his career. Scattered even more over wide areas of the landscape. What was wrong was obvious in the end. He'd allowed the grass to grow under his ass. That was about as specific as his introspection would allow. The details didn't matter. It was time for another, possibly suicidal, grand gesture.
"Biggie my man." Ed proclaimed. "We need to send a message."
Biggie's voice came from the deep shadows.
"I thought you'd already left a message?"
"I did, but I'm not confident it will get through. We want something that will show them they can't fuck with us. Bring your whittling knife over here please Biggie."
The wee man came out into the poor light.
"I'm not sure if sending them a wooden sculpture will do much good Ed. Have you got a particular subject in mind? Something with enough artistic impact to get their attention."
"No. These aren't the kind of people who'd be swayed by a work of art. I think we need to be sending body parts to underline how serious we are in our intent. We want something that says pay up, or receive your loved one in kit form over the coming months. It has to have power and punch without going overboard. We don't want them thinking we're showing off here."
Biggie climbed up onto the table, swinging his legs as he sat there.
"Let me get my head around this Edwin. I'm taking it sending his head would be a step too far. Overkill if you like."
The hired killer reflected on that for almost a full minute.
"While it would benefit us in the long term, sending the message not to fuck with us, I'd rather get the money in the short term. That way we'll have more time to spend it. Besides which a human head weighs over 100 muffins. Do have any idea how expensive it would be to have that couriered for same day delivery? That's money we wouldn't get back. I'm pretty sure his wife isn't going to pay for the return of the rest of his body. I'm thinking fingers, but I'm not sure. What about you?"
Biggie stopped swinging his legs.
"We could cut off his cock and send that I suppose."
"No that would make us seem like uncaring monsters. For now let's explore the fingers. Any ideas?"
"If I'm following you right, you want to send a finger that sends the message we aren't going to be fucked about."
"Correct. However maybe I'm looking at this in the wrong way. Which would be the easiest digit to cut off. Excluding his penis."
The mini man rubbed the knife across his chin thoughtfully.
"Pinkie finger is probably your easiest there. It's also extraordinarily painful. Are his thumbs on the table?"
"They might be. I think that would be the extreme limit though. Thumbs are pretty serious. Probably the most important digit of the hand. In some respects second only to the penis. Ears were popular for a bit weren't they. Thing is though sending one of his pinkie fingers through the mail might not be enough of a message. Postage would be cheap."
His companion jumped down from his seat.
"How about I cut off both his pinkie's and we send them? I think that would indicate that although we aren't inhuman savages, we will escalate if they don't do as they're instructed. You know what I mean. Sending two fingers indicates we're serious, but we've got a sense of humor."
Ed snapped his fingers with a chuckle.
"That's why I love working with you Biggie. That's pure genius on your part. Now do you want to chop them off with your whittling knife or would you prefer the bolt cutters?"
Andy stepped out of whatever it was in the hallway and into a tall, but narrow, cave. More of a large crack in the rock than a cavern. About twenty yards in front of him he could see sunlight. There was a really horrible smell. He sniffed himself to make sure he wasn't the source. Satisfied he hadn't brought it with him he set off towards the sunlight. Oh God, what had he just stepped in? Andy didn't want to look, but he had to. It could be Daisy or Caroline. Or what remained of them. He pulled out his wind up torch. It was green, it was slippery and it was viscous. None of which were qualities of the women, as far as he knew. On closer inspection it was confirmed as the source of that dreadful stench.
Then he did something stupid. He looked around the area. Shuddering at the sight his torch illuminated. Daisy hated spiders. Not in the terrified screaming way. More in the kill it now way. Fight, not flight. If she knew there was a spider she'd hunt that fucker down and terminate the 8 legged dickwad. Giant frigging spiders. Why do these things always have giant spiders? Giant venomous spiders as a rule. Giant man eating venomous spiders. Never vegetarian spider pacifists. Of course it might not have been Daisy who was responsible for the arachnid genocide. There could be something in this cave that either hated spiders or ate them. It did look like her work though. When she got into one of those moods, Daisy was unstoppable.
He needed to head onward. Andy was wasting time here. Unaware of how big a head start they had. Or even if this was where they'd ended up. That was one of the problems with random holes in the space time continuum. They were so random. With nothing more constructive to do, he walked onward. There was a slight slope up to the entrance. As he crested it at the mouth, his eyes were met with a forest of some sort. Tall limbless trees over a hundred feet tall, with creepers hanging from them. Low brush, ferns and bushes. The sunshine that filtered through the canopy had a green tinge. There were footprints in the bare soil. Barring any extraordinary coincidences, it indicated Andy was on the right track. There was no path, but he could see evidence of the passage of at least two people through the greenery.
It would be embarrassing if it wasn't them. Was that the word he was looking for? It was definitely what he'd experience if it turned out this wasn't Caroline and Daisy's trail. Strange things had a habit of happening. For all he really knew he could be following a couple of intrepid explorers. Did intrepid explorers wear high heels? You could never dismiss these possibilities. People did all sorts of weird things these days. Like cheese rolling, volcano surfing and extreme ironing. Someone had at least tried to cross the Atlantic in a bath. Who was to say there weren't teams of people heading across the Sahara or towards the poles wearing stilettos. It could be a thing. Andy consulted the broken compass he'd brought with him. As long as he kept his bearings there was a chance he'd make it out of here. In fact as far as he could tell, whoever he was tracking was keeping the correct heading for the exit. Adding strength to the explorer theory.
The cave he'd emerged from was a sliver of black against the cliff face when he heard the voices up ahead. It sounded like women. The closer he got the more it sounded like Daisy and Caroline. There was every likelihood they be scared and confused. He was and he'd been through that bloody wormhole thing more times than he cared to remember. Don't worry ladies, help was on its way. In the form of Andy Baconfield. Which was a form no one wanted help from in his experience. It was definitely Daisy. He couldn't make out what she was saying yet. The softer voice had to be Caroline. Andy forced his way through some dense undergrowth into a clearer area. Now, not only could he see smoke, he could smell it.
"I know I keep asking this Carrie, but where the hell are we?"
Daisy was sat on a fallen tree. Dragging her fingers through her long wet hair.
"I'm flattered that you think I know Daze, but anything I say would be a guess. Give or take a few tens of millions of years I'd say we were in the Jurassic period. Judging by the vegetation and all the animals you've killed on sight. There are no birds as far as I can tell, so I'm going to stick my neck out and say we're at least 150 million years from where we were."
Daisy sat up, a slight frown on her face.
"Aw crap. Is this one of those time travel things? Now because I've killed a butterfly the whole future's been changed. Now dinosaurs rule the earth or something."
"Hopefully not. You've killed a lot more than a butterfly."
"Well they shouldn't have gotten in my way. Besides you've killed things."
"I wasn't criticizing you. I simply meant I thought it was only spiders you hated. Not every animal you encounter."
"I like some animals. Furry ones for preference. Although my brother's got a pet pig, which is pretty awesome." She brushed her arms. "Bugger. Do you think I'll be able to get these spider guts dry cleaned off? This is my favorite jacket. Goes with everything."