What brand of consumer spirituality he was an advocate of we could never quite fathom. He did Yoga, was a vegan, practiced mindfulness, and was often scribbling in a notebook.
“Some people take responsibility for themselves, for their actions.” He said. “And when they form into groups they are powerful because they have arrived at the same conclusions independently of one another. That is a strong foundation for unity.”
We had been convinced from the very beginning that there was a bar of chocolate in his bag.
“…because those conclusions are, in some way inevitable - are more powerful than those formed by groups as the result of an ideology that they ascribe to, one that was born outside of their experience.”
We had been listening intently for a good forty five minutes and we knew each other well enough to know that the only reason we were being so attentive was because he was the only person within 50 miles who had a bar of chocolate in his bag. Of course we both knew enough not to be too attentive because that would have give the game away. It was a kind of aloof attentiveness. Not vulgarly so, not arrogant, just, …detached.
“…A group pursuing an ideology that was born outside of their experience will often end up diverging unless directed by a doctrine or some sort of leader who can maintain a coherent set of answers to those questions that inevitably emerge out of the naturally questioning mind.”
He paused. Either he was giving us time to contemplate the wisdom of his channeling or he knew that we were on to the chocolate. Was he seriously trying to catch us out.
We new enough not to just absentmindedly recount the last thing he had said. We simply looked at each other and nodded, subtly, in silent agreement. Then we returned our gazes to him.
It seemed to work.
“When groups or movements arise as a result of individuals who have taken responsibility for working things out for themselves then they recognise natural points of convergence in their conclusions, and because the conclusions they have arrived at are born out of experience, and if they are rigorous enough to question their own judgements, then they are they are practically unstoppable, because their motivations are intrinsic. They are not dependent on the external qualification of a leader or a specific ideology. This is why groups ultimately fail. We seem to operate from principle that if we change the external conditions then the ideal will emerge. We must allow change to emerge from within the change that we enact in the world.”
It was then that my companion spoke.
“Is it vegan?”
We both stated at her. Whose eyes were the widest I could not say.
That moment seemed to stretch out towards eternity, while at the same time racing towards the cliff that I knew I had just been forced to jump off with my friend. I wanted something else - to be somewhere else, to know different things, to be in a different sort of life, ideally one which involved being a person just about to eat some chocolate. Not sitting there having wasted the last forty five minutes of my life in anticipation something that I now knew would never come.
Deep down a part of me wanted to slap her.
“Yes.” He replied. He was too sharp not to realise that my companion had caught herself thinking out loud.
Knowing that the game was up I could not help but satisfy my curiosity.
“…And Raw.”
He stood, tucking the bag under his arm like a vulnerable cub.
“Yes.” He said casting his gaze between us. “Vegan and raw.”
We saw him one last time before we left. He was sitting in the shade of the old oak with the girl who was wearing the Ganesh pendant. They were eating something.
We imagined that it was the chocolate.
We imagined it tasted good.
Image: Michael Cooper