Normally I don't like to say, "I told you so." But every once in a while you are so right and everyone is so wrong that you simply have to take a victory lap.
See? This guy can't even hold on to his bat. There is no way he will last more than 18 years in the majors.
Back in 2001, I wrote a very controversial piece about a Japanese baseball "sensation" who would be entering Major League Baseball that season. Everywhere you turned, people were falling all over themselves to say how incredible this 5'11" twig would be in the major leagues.
I laughed then and I am laughing even harder now.
Not only did I write a piece lambasting the world for thinking this tiny guy wouldn't be completely dominated by major league pitching, I also made MANY barroom bets with friends and enemies alike.
Well it is time to collect.
Ichiro Suzuki has decided to hang up his cleats and move to the front office (just like I knew he would have to).
So here are the bets I won:
I bet that Ichiro would not get more than 3090 hits (The puss only had 3089!)
I bet that he would only win the MVP and Rookie of the year in the same season only 1 time!
I bet that he would not win 4 Silver slugger awards (He got stuck on 3!)
I bet that he would not win more than 11 Gold Gloves (Only 10!)
I bet that he would not lead the league in hits 8 times (Only 7!)
I bet he would never get 259 hits in a season. (He stopped at 258!)
I also bet that he would not hit a pitched ball off of a bounce more than 3 times. (He only did it twice!)
Enjoy your retirement you bum!
*The opinion of Jim Shorts does not represent that of anyone on this platform or anyone in the entire world with a brain. Ichiro may be the best hitter ever and is a 1st ballot Hall of Famer. Everyone who watched him play in person should count themselves as lucky. They saw a legend in action.
