从执着到放下:一个家庭的生命课题

in hive-180932 •  yesterday  (edited)

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慢慢地接受现实中,虽然心情依然沉重。想到今年读了那本叫《佛祖到底说了什么》关于佛学的书,虽然读的时候也曾感叹佛学的智慧,在2000年前就通过思考和推理得出了很多与现代科学不约而同的结论,但是对佛学推崇的解脱之法还是不太认同。既然万法缘起,因缘聚合则生,因缘离散则灭,世事无常。而这个因缘聚合、离散的推动力就是因果,也可以说是因果循环,创造了世间的万事万物。而佛教所提倡的解脱之法,就是看破红尘,掌握佛性,不再造业,也就是不再引发因果,就能够脱离苦海,感觉完全是避世消极的态度。我认为人在世上还是应该积极争取一些自己想要的或者珍视的人、或者事物,这也是作为人存在的意义。

但是这次父亲和十年前母亲的换癌经历,还有这几天痛苦的辗转反侧中的思索,让我领悟到了佛学智慧的冰山一角,佛学将人世间称为苦海。而诸种造成诸种苦痛的原因就是执着。所谓执着就是认为有些东西是长久的,特别是某些自己珍视的人和事物,希望它保持长久。但是万法缘起。世界的本质是空,没有什么东西,是真正长久的,甚至包括我们自己,这也是佛教与其他宗教最大的不同。甚至连灵魂都认为不是长久存在的,也就是无我。要成佛,只有破除我执,就是我们的存在是长久的执念。

想要很长久的保存些自己珍视的事物,这就是所有痛苦的根源。

父亲陪伴我们这个小家庭已经走过10年了。小宝贝也长到了8岁,都已经上三年级了。也看着小宝贝一点一点地长大。虽然他看不到小宝贝成人的那一天了。但凡事只要曾经拥有过,就是幸福,不要过于执着和贪婪,想要长期拥有。两天前,我在网上想搜寻各种病例,想找到可行的治疗方案,结果只收获了一大堆的失望和更加痛苦,这不同样也是一种执着造成的痛苦吗?

父亲作为50后,他的成长阶段,伴随着官方口中所谓的艰辛探索的阶段,也就是改革开放之前,各种政治运动,还有文革,他没有接受完整的教育,就参加了上山下乡运动。所以在我看来他文化水平不高,而且受到那个时代官方宣传的影响,思想也不够现代包容。所以成年之后,我们沟通的比较少。但是现在看来,父亲是有大智慧的人,可以说是自行参透了刚才所说的那些佛学的道理,坦然的面对自己患癌的现实,而且决定不接受化疗,何尝不是一种破除了执着的心态。反而是我的心事重重,让他担心。我虽然多读了一些书,但境界远远不如他。


Slowly accept the reality, although the heart is still heavy. Thinking of reading the book called "What the Buddha Said" about Buddhism this year, although I also lamented the wisdom of Buddhism when I read it, 2,000 years ago through thinking and reasoning came to a lot of conclusions that coincide with modern science, but I still do not agree with the method of liberation advocated by Buddhism. Since the origin of all Fa, the convergence of causes is born, the dispersion of causes is destroyed, and the world is impermanent. And the driving force of this convergence and dispersion of causes is causality, which can also be said to be the causal cycle, creating everything in between. The method of liberation advocated by Buddhism is to see through the red world, master the Buddha nature, do not recreate karma, that is, no longer cause and effect, you can get out of the sea of suffering, and feel that it is completely a negative attitude to avoid the world. I think people should actively strive for some people or things they want or value in the world, which is also the meaning of being a human being.

But this time my father and my mother's experience of cancer change ten years ago, as well as the painful thinking in these days of tossing and turning, let me realize the tip of the iceberg of Buddhist wisdom, and Buddhist science calls the human world a sea of suffering. And the cause of all kinds of suffering is attachment. The so-called persistence is to believe that some things are long-term, especially some people and things that they cherish, and hope that it will remain long-term. But all laws have their origin. The nature of the world is empty, nothing is really permanent, even ourselves, and this is the biggest difference between Buddhism and other religions. Even the soul thinks that it is not permanent, that is, it has no self. To become a Buddha, we can only break the ego, that is, our existence is a permanent obsession.

The desire to keep something dear for a long time is the root of all suffering.

My father has been with our little family for 10 years. The baby also grew up to 8 years old, is already in the third grade. I watched the baby grow up little by little. Though he will never see his baby grow up. But as long as everything has been owned, it is happiness, don't be too persistent and greedy, want to have it for a long time. Two days ago, I tried to search for various cases on the Internet, trying to find a feasible treatment plan, but the result only harvested a lot of disappointment and more pain, isn't it also a pain caused by attachment?

His father was born in the 1950s, and his upbringing was accompanied by what the authorities called a period of hard exploration, that is, before the reform and opening up, various political movements, and the Cultural Revolution, and he did not have a full education, he joined the movement to the countryside. Therefore, in my opinion, his cultural level is not high, and he is influenced by the official propaganda of that era, and his thoughts are not modern and inclusive. So as adults, we communicate less. But now it seems that my father is a man of great wisdom, and it can be said that he has understood the truth of Buddhism just said, calmly faced the reality of his cancer, and decided not to accept chemotherapy, which is not a kind of persistent mentality. Instead, he was worried about me. Although I have read more books, my realm is far inferior to his.

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Upvoted! Thank you for supporting witness @jswit.