In order to feel comfortable in the relationship, it's important to be able to set your boundaries and provide others with points of reference. It also includes having self-respect. Sometimes, saying no to someone else means saying yes to yourself.
Setting boundaries entails being able to express and say clearly when you don't agree with something and want to be treated with respect.
How can you respond to questions without getting into a fight, for instance, when you need some space, when you feel like no one is listening to you, or when you are embarrassed by some of them?
It's crucial to be able to respect and listen to one another, whether it's with family, friends, or romantic partners, but that's frequently easier said than done!
The goal of discussing one's needs and limitations is to be able to coexist peacefully. Finding solutions to have more harmony in the relationship is the goal, not getting into a fight or confrontation.
The first thing to keep in mind when you realise you need to (re)set a limit is that most of the time, the other person didn't start out with bad intentions. We occasionally forget that not everyone thinks the same as us. Therefore, it is likely that this person is unaware that he has gone over one of your limits.
We must therefore establish our boundaries as clearly as possible. In a sense, it's our responsibility. This will help the other person understand what is and isn't acceptable to us.
Your posture and facial expressions are everything. This is our basic form of communication, which includes expressions like scowling, "ouch," backing up, holding our mouths shut, etc. The majority of the time, it's an automatic or reflexive response, like when someone unintentionally steps on our toes.
We can sometimes get mired in endless justifications of our boundaries out of concern for the other person. With the exception that it complicates communication and might make the other person tense. Say so if you want to spend some time alone, for instance. There is no need to defend oneself.
If you believe a limit has been reached, it is very simple to start making accusations. Either we place the blame for the other person's lack of respect for us, or we place the blame for our own lack of respect for ourselves. The issue is that it does not advance our cause. Saying, "You never respect my privacy!" to someone who enters your room without knocking, for instance, is probably not going to have much of an impact.
Try to talk about very specific things when you describe what was wrong with you and what you would like. For instance, if someone walks into your room without knocking, you can tell them that you prefer it if they do so.
Together, you can search for alternatives to respect your boundaries. Once you've realised why you need to "knock on the door before entering" (for example, to have a private space), you can discuss how to make that need respected with the people in your group. It's crucial to distinguish between means (there are countless things you could eat) and need .