Dealing with Disappointment in Life

in life •  2 months ago 

Bell defined disappointment as the psychological response to disappointing results in 1985. Another definition says disappointment is when an expected result is not met.

Many academics define disappointment as a reaction to a poor result. The larger the distance between expected and actual, the greater the disappointment. The realisation that the expected condition did not materialise or could never happen causes disappointment. Sadness accompanies disappointment.

You can feel disappointed in practically every aspect of life—people, events, experiences, emotions, the person, relationships, and life. This feeling might range from daily disappointments to major disappointments. Like other emotions, disappointment is necessary, natural, and valuable.

Like other emotions, disappointment evolves and has numerous causes. Humans require disappointment, like all emotions, to survive and thrive. Three factors cause disappointment: arrival illusion, expectations from others, and childhood experiences. .

The destination fallacy occurs when a person is too goal-oriented and forgets the process thinking they will be thrilled when they reach their goal. Usually, the destination fallacy causes disappointments. Since a person is confident they will be tremendously pleased when they attain their goal, they cannot experience this happiness or realise it will be temporary, making them often miserable.

In the arrival fallacy, the person believes that when he reaches his goal, all his troubles will miraculously pass and attributes all his happiness to this goal. When he cannot reach the goal or realises that other troubles exist even if the goal is reached, the person becomes disappointed.

Expectations from outside sources may disappoint. People don't want to accept unreasonable expectations that don't reflect reality. If a person has great expectations for an event, person, or situation, disappointment is more intense. As defined, disappointment is when expectations don't meet reality. Therefore, the person must constantly have realistic expectations.

Traumatic childhood events or extreme disappointments create unfavourable life expectations. In other words, positive thinking loses its effectiveness.

If an adult experiences a trauma or disappointment comparable to one they had as a child, their mind automatically returns to the old disappointment and they feel it again. However, this dissatisfaction in maturity is subjective and not objective.

Like all emotions, negative emotions serve a purpose, even though most people avoid them. People typically avoid risks, ignore advances, have low expectations, and think awful things will happen anyhow to prevent disappointment.

Such strategies lessen disappointment but deprive the person of numerous life pleasures. These approaches prevent a person from embracing new experiences, seizing opportunities, and growing. However, telling himself "No good result will come anyway" to lower expectations makes the person sad until he gets good news, even if he does.

People who are disappointed realise their expectations were not met. People might adjust their expectations or find new ways to meet them through confrontation. Being disappointed enhances a person's life and psychological resiliency.


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