“Setting boundaries requires the strength to love ourselves even when we disappoint others.”
Boundaries create physical and emotional freedom between you and others. People see your right attitudes and approaches. Setting limits with parents, children, friends, bosses, etc. is crucial. You can feel restricted and unable to express your demands without boundaries.
Some confront these boundaries with anger or defiance. This does not invalidate setting boundaries. Boundaries do not punish or control others. In fact, they aid partnerships. Consider what it's like when people put limits between you and them if they seem confusing.
Don't you like when your supervisor sets clear expectations and tells you what to do? Doesn't it eliminate uncertainty and make work completion easier and clearer? Being honest about expectations and requirements improves relationships with parents, friends, and others.
People dread setting limits for numerous reasons, but fear is a major one.
Many people resist setting limits because they fear being labelled a “difficult person”. In childhood, you were taught that being a good person meant being pleasant, kind, and unselfish, and that you had to be flawless all the time or your family and friends would dislike you.
To please others by putting their needs before yours in relationships risks your freedom. You give up your freedom to be yourself. You must take a few steps to simplify your employment to prevent this.
You must know what you want and why before setting a relationship boundary. This will help you express your requirements and stay focused when things get tough. When setting a strict limit, writing down what you want and why can help.
Direct and concise communication of boundaries works best. Apologising for your boundaries won't work.
Some people may respond poorly when you set boundaries. This happens often. People that use your lack of boundaries usually don't want you to change. Thus, others may require time to adjust to your new behaviour.
Others may manipulate and anger you into not setting boundaries. Conflict phobia is a typical explanation for inability to create boundaries. You don't want to trigger folks. Therefore, you sacrifice your needs to maintain peace.
When others dislike the situation, removing boundaries may appear easier and more calm. However, setting limits should not be avoided if they create anger or resistance. You are not responsible for how people react to your boundaries.
Being a parent means continually reminding your kids of the rules and what you expect from them. Setting adult boundaries is similar. Setting limits in partnerships requires repeated communication. You must periodically remind the same person of these boundaries.
Limits should never be used to control or punish people. Setting limits is important for your health, your relationships, and indirectly, those around you. Boundaries prevent overwork, self-sacrifice, and physical and emotional abuse. Boundaries are about doing what's right for you, not forcing others. They reflect our identity and needs.