Natural conflicts between kids and friends might arise. Parents also want to help their kids restore friendships and learn to forgive. Do you think your child forgives because he knows what it implies for the other person and himself, or because he wants to please you?
Children need to learn love, compassion, and forgiveness. Teaching your kids to forgive makes childhood and adolescence easier. Anger and resentment are strong and damaging emotions that can cause anxiety and despair in children and adults.
Children and everyone can confuse forgiving with ignoring someone's behaviour. Forgiving may mean “forgetting.” Forgiving is saying, "I didn't like your words or behaviour." Even though I'm mad, I want you in my life.” Your youngster needs direct or implicit messages from you to understand this.
Say your youngster came home upset after arguing with a friend at school. First, figure out which friend your child was mad at and why. They became mad because their friend called them a name or they lost a game.
They may have felt awful about not being invited to a game or envy of the invited kids. Teaching your child to forgive is easier when you understand what's making them upset and why.
Are they mad or ashamed? Maybe they're disappointed. He/she must understand how the circumstance made him/her feel before forgiving. He/she should also be able to adequately express anger to the offender. Only then will your child have a good reason to forgive.
Provide an imaginary balloon for your child. Let him think about what upset or injured him. Ask how he feels. Anger, sadness, shame... Ask him to inflate that balloon with his emotions. Tell him an imaginary string connects the balloon to him.
When ready, he can cut the string and let go of his sentiments. Provide him with phantom scissors. Help your child envision his balloon slowly rising and leaving.
Imagine the balloon slowly popping and spreading love and compassion when he's ready. Let him do this imaginary balloon activity anytime he wishes.
Teens benefit most from this practice. Your youngster can compose a letter explaining their sadness or rage and how they feel. You might then have your youngster write a letter of forgiveness to the guilty party. You can then discard this letter to demonstrate that forgiveness implies “letting go.”
To learn forgiveness, your child must emulate you. If your child sees your positive side more in your relationships, he may adopt similar behaviours.
Your youngster will benefit from accompanying him in learning how to behave in a circumstance and discussing it. You may also encounter examples of what you're teaching everywhere. You can also use these examples to teach your youngster.
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