Facing tough situations while holding beliefs like "We must stay positive" or "Good vibes only!" is a form of toxic positivity. While optimism and a positive outlook can be helpful, toxic positivity dismisses all uncomfortable feelings.
It's beneficial to have a positive mindset, but life isn't always cheerful. Everyone experiences difficult emotions now and then. To promote better mental health, these feelings should be acknowledged and processed rather than ignored.
Toxic positivity can appear in various forms around us. For example, if someone gets laid off from work, others might say, "Look on the bright side," or "It was meant to be." Such remarks can hinder the person from expressing their true feelings about the situation.
After a loss, people might say things like, "Stay positive," or "Everything happens for a reason." These phrases can make dealing with grief even tougher.
Saying "Happiness is a choice; you can choose to be happy" during someone's sad moment can also reflect toxic positivity. When someone is feeling down, they might blame themselves for not being happy. Although these comments come from a good place, they often lack empathy and block the person from feeling their emotions.
What’s wrong with positive thinking? Let’s picture a scenario where we embrace "Good Vibes Only." No matter the circumstances, if we only focus on happiness, what happens when we receive sad news?
If we read about a global tragedy and feel only happiness, it's clear that the "Good Vibes Only" approach is ineffective and unrealistic.
While having a positive view of life has advantages—such as better coping skills during stress, increased resilience, and even a boost to our immune system—it doesn’t mean we should ignore negative feelings.
We may desire happiness for ourselves and those we care about, but expecting to feel only joy is not realistic. In therapy, particularly in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, we learn to shift our thinking and tackle issues from different angles, sometimes finding positive thoughts. However, the danger arises when we believe we should eliminate all negative feelings.