When I talk to people about my book, "The Little White Horse," sometimes they ask me, "Are you a control freak?" I smile, thinking that this is a ridiculous question and everyone must be kidding me. After all, if you're looking for the ultimate control, aren't you just looking for the ultimate way to control you and those you let in your life?
But, the truth is that some of us really are. We want more control, more power, more authority, more to do with our lives than any one person or group can give or even want. If you are asking, "are you a control freak?" here are some signs that this is indeed the case.
Have you ever been intensely focused on one thing for very long, even for hours at a time? And then something comes up, and you don't have the time or energy to look at another part of the problem. Or you know there is an issue, but just can't seem to find the right way to deal with it. The way to do it is to put it off, to ignore it, to wait until another day comes by so you can look at it. But that's not the right way to deal with control. It's almost as though you are saying, "I will control whatever happens in the next 24 hours, no matter what it is."
Are you one who hates asking for permission? Who doesn't like being told that they have to wait or that they shouldn't do that or this? Who hates asking for a favor? Of course, the person has to be useful to you first. But, after that, everything else in your life becomes about control, and how you are going to get it, who is going to give it, and when you will get it.
Are you a control freak because you are scared of not having control or losing control in your life? Do you think you can control what happens in your life when someone you love asks for your help, or when you lose your job or your parents ask you for help? Do you feel like it is your responsibility to make sure that they have a good life and that they will be happy no matter what happens?
The only way that anyone can have total control of their life is if they accept responsibility for everything that happens. If you never had anything happen in your life before, then you never had the opportunity to learn how to control it. You just had to live with the consequences of all those little things.
Now, as an adult you are able to go back and learn how to control. You learn how to handle situations that make you uncomfortable, and you also learn how to handle things that are outside of your control. If you never learned these skills, then you can be sure that they are limiting you in some way. You have been suppressing some very real and important aspects of your life for a long time, and now you need to release that suppressing aspect in order to feel good about yourself.
If you want to make changes in your life, you will have to learn how to control. If you never learned these skills, then it is time for you to learn them. You want control, but you don't want it in a negative way that limits you and makes you miserable.
If you think that you are a control freak, then you need to make some changes in the areas of your life that you are most interested in. This is not only going to help you in getting what you want out of life, but this will help you feel good too. If you aren't happy with where you are at right now, then you won't be able to get better unless you address the issues surrounding you.
When you find that you are a control freak, and you are suppressing many important aspects of your life, then you will want to look at why you think this way. Are you afraid of change or are you afraid of taking risks? If you are afraid of the risks, then you may not be willing to take them, and that means that you won't be able to change much with your life. On the other hand, if you are afraid of change, then you will be open to changing your life to reach your goals. When you want to figure out how to be a control freak!
To figure out how to be a control freak, you are going to have to figure out what it is that makes you feel good about yourself, and change those aspects of your life that are causing you unhappiness. If you are constantly unhappy, then you are going to have a hard time controlling your life. If you are willing to change and do whatever it takes, you will eventually figure out how to be a control freak and be happy with the results!
