We communicate with our partners in both verbal and nonverbal ways. We can understand each other as long as we communicate honestly and directly. We can't always interact well. Our internal processes taking too much of our brains, and the sensitivity we experienced during these moments... These are challenges that affect our connection but are not specific to it. Sure, it affects how we spend our time together, but it isn't always negative.
Stressful situations that worsen or become chronic might negatively effect our communication. Their tolerance ranges are tighter, limiting flexibility. This is normal. We can't all maintain a state of understanding and empathy without a break. As a result, we must be able to comprehend ourselves and our spouse under stressful situations. Otherwise, we stop speaking out of fear of being misunderstood, or we try to defend ourselves. This describes a problem with our connection.
If this is not handled, vicious cycles can arise that feed on themselves. These cycles compel us the most, because we are once again at a crossroads. It rekindles our sense of powerlessness and dread of being misunderstood. The weight of earlier experiences is felt anew in this instance. Despite changing themes, some communication hurdles remain.
By examining ourselves and our spouse, we may determine which of these barriers pertain to us. As a result, we can inhibit these tendencies from strengthening and developing a relationship.
At times, we may feel offended or powerless, and believe that no matter how hard we try, we will never understand our spouse's situation.
Maybe we don't listen to our spouse because we assume we know him and his relationships well enough to fill in the spaces. We assume we understand his circumstances in some ways.
No of the tension, reading our partner's thinking will keep us from becoming well. Because assuming we know what he thinks makes us stop wondering and trying to figure it out. Today's world is always full of opportunities for innovation and change, little and enormous... Not knowing makes it difficult to see these possibilities, even if they are founded on prior knowledge. It prevents us from properly knowing what is going on between two people. As a result, we react more automatically and uniformly. That is, our relational space prevents us from creating new options for ourselves and our spouse.
As a result, we must continue to be honest and allow our partner to understand. Knowing the past helps us respond effectively in the present. The underlying assumptions will only serve to strengthen the cycle of helplessness. Telling his or her storey on behalf of our spouse makes them less inclined to express themselves or be defensive.
To avoid expressing ourselves, we may strive to isolate ourselves by constructing invisible barriers. This, like all communication, is a coping technique. But it will intensify the hurdles to our relationship with our spouse, resurfacing the issues.
If we see such a reflex in response to stress, we might strive to understand our feelings and ideas that generate it. Some possible causes of this reflex include fear of not being understood, inability to solve problems, being paralysed in such situations, and difficulty controlling uncomfortable feelings.
This coping strategy may momentarily distract us from the issue, but it increases the likelihood of a recurrence. It makes us appear distant and unfathomable.
As a result, we must be vigilant lest this unconscious tactic become embedded in our repertoire. If so, we'll have to interpret it in our storey. Then we can try out fresh ideas and look for help.
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