Our minds often take us away from the present, entangling us in unhelpful beliefs. We live in our thoughts, narratives, perceptions, memories, and assumptions.
These may include concerns about how others see us, expectations for ourselves or others, worries about the future, or negative self-talk. We can easily get lost in these thoughts and mistake them for reality.
This leads to feelings of hopelessness and powerlessness, prompting us to change our behavior to escape these uncomfortable thoughts.
People may seek positivity, validation from others, or distract themselves with activities like watching TV or avoiding certain situations, but these tactics do not eliminate the thoughts. The mind often fixates on what it is told to avoid.
Being overwhelmed by thoughts prevents us from fully engaging in activities or relationships, causing us to operate on autopilot. This is why defusion is important—it helps create distance from our thoughts.
The goal of defusion is to:
Observe thoughts rather than being consumed by them.
Allow thoughts to come and go instead of clinging to them.
We do not focus on changing the content of the thoughts or pushing them away. Instead, we build a different relationship with them and remain present. This involves recognizing and acknowledging thoughts without assigning them truth. Thoughts are just that—thoughts, not facts. They may keep arising, but that’s normal. The key is to accept their presence without letting them control you.
Achieving this requires effort and patience. It means stepping back and training your focus on your thoughts with openness and curiosity. Allow the thoughts to exist without battling them. Focus on the present moment, which is essential. Why? Because a present focus opens up choices and actions. If you get lost in your thoughts, your options become limited.
Being attentive to the now allows you to choose what to focus on, decide your next steps, and make good choices. It creates space to look at situations from a broader perspective. Ultimately, it helps you experience life fully in the present.