A lot of people who see psychologists want to end their long-term pain without making any changes to themselves. At first, these people don't want to go to therapy because they're afraid of facing their truth. This is strange because the best changes need a clear picture of the starting situation.
Too many people lie about their flaws and don't believe how strong they really are. Some of their pain comes from judging themselves. Tell yourself that pain can make you angry and touchy.
How we interpret our emotional responses leads to pain and disagreement with ourselves. In the end, we are all "complices" in our own pain.
A lot of the time, resistance keeps us from realising that the stimulus is not what hurts us, but how we respond to it. Resisters don't do anything; they just wait for troubles to go away. They want a certain reward but don't want to change the habits that cause problems.
Being accepting is the only way to be happy. Acceptance changes you.
Find peace inside, not outside.
A lot of specific patients say that their problems are caused by outside forces they can't control. A lot of this sadness comes from worrying too much about unfair things that you can't change.
We blame others for our emotional problems when we can't control our feelings. Focusing on other people lets us give up our feelings.
No one would choose to lose control of their emotions. We break every time someone doesn't live up to our hopes. The best ways to deal with mental stress and frustrations are acceptance and action.
Sometimes we feel bad about ourselves when our ideas don't match up with other people's or with events that are very different from our own. Making changes in our lives helps us focus on ourselves and get away from guilt, anger, and giving up.
Being honest with ourselves can be hard at first, but it can also set us free. It shows who we are and how our inner world is connected. In fact, we are the only ones who can mess things up.
It's only us who can hurt ourselves. This made-up personal war leads to anger, resentment, hate, retribution, and revenge. All of these feelings make us want to be treated, which can sometimes lead to fights.
These feelings come from putting too much weight on outside interpretations of past events and emotions. The problem comes up when things that happened in the past affect our current relationships and keep us from moving forward. Tell yourself that you have to accept the past in order to live in the present.