We've all suffered. You can't be an adult or teen without emotional pain. It aches. Yes, I understand. How you handle that hurt is perhaps more essential than the harm itself. Would you rather live actively again? Or would you rather dwell on the past and unchangeable?
How can you move forward from previous hurts? Join us to discover...
Most of us blame others for our pain first. Someone committed something improper or caused us significant harm. They should apologise. We want them to admit their mistake.
People who hold onto past injuries sometimes revisit them in their minds. Sometimes a person gets "stuck" in pain, hurt, and blame.
Happiness is only possible if you create room for it. How can you be open to new things if you're hurt and resentful?
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Resentments don't disappear on their own. If you don't intentionally let things go, you may sabotage your own efforts.
Choosing to let go of resentments entails acknowledging an alternative. After step 2 below, think about someone else to quit reliving the past suffering and obsessing over the occurrence.
Express the anguish your animosity is causing you by ranting to a friend, writing in a journal, or penning a letter you'll never mail. Forget it everything at once. This will also clarify your resentment.
Though it may seem like it, our world isn't black and white. Even if you're not fully responsible for your hurt, you may be. What can you do differently next time? Are you in control of your life or a helpless victim? Will you let pain define you? Are you deeper and more complex?
Victimhood feels wonderful. Like winning against the world. You must work things out alone because the world doesn't care. Indeed, you are unique. Your feelings matter. Don't mix “your feelings matter” with “your feelings matter more than anything else and nothing else matters.” Life, with all its messiness and complexity, includes your feelings.
At every moment, you can feel bad or happy about someone else's activities. You should be responsible for your own pleasure, not someone else. Why let someone who injured you before have that power now?
Relationship issues seldom resolve with ruminating. Never. Ever. History from beginning to end. Why do you ponder about and focus on someone who hurt you?
Time to move forward. Stop dwelling on the past. Stop believing you are perpetually victimised by that person's bad behaviour. The past is irreversible.
Forgiveness isn't weakness. Simply put, I'm good. Your character is good. You injured me, but I want to move on and get back to the good days. I must release my animosity to do that.”
Forgiveness helps you move on. This helps you empathise with the other person and see things from their perspective.
This step may require self-forgiveness. Sometimes we blame ourselves for resentment or a scenario. We may feel resentment (see step 2), so don't beat yourself up. How will you find peace and happiness if you can't forgive yourself?
Everyone should release their resentment. Change your life today to bring happiness back.