It is our ideal self that informs us who we ought to be. On the basis of this, we establish goals for ourselves. When we are unable to satisfy these objectives, we place the responsibility on ourselves.
We are unable to conduct an accurate assessment of ourselves because of the disappointment that we experience as a consequence of our failure.
Because of this, we find ourselves stuck in a pattern of behaviour that we are not even aware we are doing. What causes it to occur in this manner every time? I would like to know why I am not being rewarded for my efforts. How come I can't live the life I wish to live?
The purpose of these inquiries, regardless of how open-ended they may be, is not to find the answer but rather to evaluate ourselves. As a result, it brings us even further away from the ideal version of ourselves. The question now is, what approaches should I take in order to become closer to my ideal self?
Emotions and thoughts frequently assault our existence in ways that are beyond our ability to control. In spite of the fact that we make a concerted effort to stop and eliminate them, they do not hesitate to become more powerful and to celebrate their victory by inhabiting our bodies and minds.
These emotions and thoughts are categorised as "negative" by us, and we hold the belief that their existence is inappropriate. We begin to battle them with another thought, which is that they ought to just vanish and leave us without any further interference.
When this happens, we give up and become ensnared in the chaos that is our reality because we are under the influence of another emotion that we do not want. Is it possible that a strategy that can modify this unfortunate set of circumstances is to learn to accept it as the first step in coping with our reality?
With this fundamental acceptance, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy provides a fresh viewpoint on our feelings and thoughts, and consequently, on the way we live our lives.
We have the ability to put distance between ourselves and whatever it is that we are thinking or feeling by simply acknowledging both of these things. I would want to begin by providing an example from my own life that illustrates the power of acceptance.
When I initially started working as a psychiatric counsellor, having the opportunity to present seminars to parents was a difficult experience for me. Fearing that I would be ashamed if the parents asked me a question that I was unable to answer before I did, I was apprehensive about the situation.
I was considering the possibility that they might not agree with me. The question is, how could I exert control over these ideas and emotions before they gained control of me? In the alternative, they might push me away from an event that might be beneficial to my development, right?