Nonviolent Communication : The formula for communicating without arguing

Nonviolent communication, according to this understanding, is not about the problem, conduct, or what is said on the surface; rather, he emphasises the importance of focusing on the greater part of the iceberg that lies beneath the surface, the unconscious factors that influence behaviour, words, and attitudes, rather than the problem, conduct, or what is said on the surface. Nonviolent Communication Model states that attempting to change the other side will only end in resistance; instead, we must transform our own views, judgments, stereotyped ideas, and awareness.

To begin, make an effort to explain your observations without labelling them or analysing them in any way. In the event that your companion is late for your appointment, the only conclusion that can be drawn is that the appointment is late. Before making a decision, make sure to explain the situation to the other person in the most objective way possible. Your statement could imply that he doesn't care about, respect, or cherish you, or that this particular day isn't very important to him. As an alternative to summarising your comment, you may simply state, You're late for our appointment.' Essentially, this is the most straightforward way of expressing a factual statement.

After relaying your observation to the other party, you must express your feelings to the other person in a straightforward and understandable manner that is free of judgement and evaluation, as described above. The bulk of arguments, confrontations, and clashes are caused by emotions that have been suppressed or buried. Be mindful of your emotions and communicate them in a nonjudgmental manner to avoid appearing judgemental. "Right now, I'm a little enraged." "I was disappointed by your behaviour because I had imagined you were looking forward to spending time with me," for example. To communicate your feelings to the other person, you can utilise expressions such as:

Having expressed your feelings to the other person, the next step is to recognise and define your requirements to the other person. If you do this, you will allow the other party enough time to consider and determine how much they can do to meet your needs. To give an example, 'I need to be cared for and treasured, and I need to know that you respect me.' As soon as you say something, you will create space for both your feelings to be better understood and for the other party to determine whether or not they are willing to meet your needs.

If you want to use nonviolent communication effectively, you must make a request in the fourth phase of the paradigm, as well as after each message you send. In order for you to feel as though your needs are being addressed, what actions should the other person take? In order to communicate your desires to the other person, you can say something along the lines of "So I want you to be at the location where we will meet at the agreed time." Keep in mind that it is the other person's decision whether or not to agree with this request, and that this is a request rather than a command in nature. As a result, the other person will be fully responsible for his decision and will bear no liability for his actions.

Rosenberg's four-step technique appears straightforward on the surface, but it is not as uncomplicated to put into practise as it appears on the surface of things. It is possible to feel uneasy when this paradigm is applied for the first time; you may believe that you are being treated unfairly and that you are not being treated equally. This mindset may be formed into a habit over time, and you will realise that your communication is far more effective than it was previously.

The only thing that may make a person unhappy, glad, or angry is his or her own ideas. Another person's words and actions are simply reflections or amplifications of his or her own personality. Although the most basic requirements for all human beings are the same, the order in which they must be met varied. In communication, all discourses and behaviours are attempts to address a fundamental need on the other side of the conversation.

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