Gratitude for others and what we receive is more than a morality or heart trait. Those who work on gratitude daily might boost their well-being.
Whether as a simple courtesy (thanking a gift is the most basic) or a moral duty inherited from Judeo-Christian culture, gratitude is not highly emphasised in our latitudes.
According to various American positive psychology research, habitual users actively improve their mental wellbeing. Gratitude strengthens social relationships, reduces negative feelings, and gives a lasting sense of well-being.
One of the top experts is University of Michigan psychology professor Chris Peterson. He often invites kids to compose a “letter of gratitude” to a loved one. Every year, he says, “Writing these texts gives their authors a lasting feeling of well-being.”
Chris Peterson says reading it aloud reinforces the experience. The "snowball" impact of pleasant emotions occurs when the beneficiary feels valued and sends a favourable message to the letter author. Very “American”, these exercises “clash” with our mentality, yet thankfulness can be practiced without letters or declarations. Just look at your daily lives.
“Rejoicing in what we consider to be acquired: a family, a roof over our heads, good health, makes us appreciate our life,” says Phillip Watkins, University of Psychology, Washington researcher. This awareness helps us appreciate what we have rather than mourn what we lack.
Thus, the researcher discovered that conscious thankfulness practitioners were less frustrated, more open, and more optimistic. They don't compare themselves, don't want material things, and disregard envy.
In his Little Treatise on the Great Virtues, André Comte-Sponville writes, “Gratitude rejoices in what takes place, or in what is,” unlike regret or nostalgia, which suffer from a past that was not, or which is no longer, as well as hope or anguish, which desire or fear [...] a future that is not yet, which perhaps never will be, and which yet torture of his absence.
When you enjoy a delicious meal, a pleasant time with friends, or a scenery like art, you feel like you're helping those life spoils.
This talent also helps us overcome existential loneliness. According to psychiatrist and psychotherapist Christophe André, thankfulness boosts self-esteem by increasing a sense of belonging to a group, lineage, or human society. University of California psychology professor Robert Emmons found that those who regularly list reasons to be glad are more active, happier, and more stress-resistant.
After believing in these benefits, practise gratitude. Irony, scepticism, and cynicism are academically respected, thus this is not obvious. Happiness and optimism are suspicious. American scholars know this demands openness. To temporarily silence the voice saying this is just the behaviourist Coué approach.
“These exercises can be done with scepticism, not cynicism,” advises Chris Peterson. He encourages all sceptics to follow this exercise regularly to overcome internal reluctance. “Do it “as if” until it works. As the mind follows the words, emotions alter.
Peterson acknowledges that he struggled to write the letter of gratitude he advised his students to write. I persevered until I felt my writing came from the heart.
This may be our next task. For a more energetic life.
Retrace the causes and effects that gave you good things.
Which person or chain of events started this work you adore, this meeting that changed everything, this book, or this work you enjoy? Recognising your origins gives two joys: receiving and valuing others.