It is healthier to explain anger instead of showing

We understand that this advise may seem simple and straightforward. We give it because handling unpleasant emotions like frustration, fury, and anger is our weakness. Many people nowadays wear adult clothing and hold their heads high, but they have the emotional maturity of a 4-year-old.

Know that irritation affects more than just emotions. Our language and cognition are captivated by opposing, acute, and frustrated emotions. The devourers swallow and hide them by imitating skillful normality.

Choking occurs gradually and daily from this lethal infection. Aggressive communication, unequal treatment, low self-esteem, blackmail, emotional ups and downs, and psycho-somatic disorders that highlight mental anguish develop.

Let's use a simple example to show how anger affects our daily life. Amélie had a rough workday. Jean, her partner, tells her he's going out with friends when she gets home late. He asks her if she wants him to stay before departing. Amélie urges him to “do what he wants, that there’s no problem.”

Next morning, Amélie can't help but feel angry. She feels awful because her spouse couldn't notice her bad day, depression, and despair on her face. His uneasiness has risen because Jean couldn't see his apathy throughout breakfast or the shadow of his rage, which prowls inside him like a wounded animal in a cage.

If Amélie had told him about her horrible day, this situation would have been different. He was required because she was sick, fatigued, and broken. Sometimes situations get confusing, doubts arise, and you want others to comprehend everything without words.

However, something solid from all we've been taught since childhood—“Control yourself, hide things, act normal”—justifies this predicament. Emotional Intelligence's least understood dimension is self-control.

A modest unresolved rage can become a large problem, a horrible experience, and a toxic cloud. It's unnecessary to emphasise the consequences of a permanently furious individual on family and work. Black holes leave aftereffects and disrupt harmony.

First step can contradict numerous teachings and recommendations. We must realise that wrath and rage are not negative or something we must suppress. It must be viewed positively and closely as an alarm bell that must be heard, understood, and resolved.

A concrete scenario might produce conflict and wrath, which is normal and essential. Defending our facts, needs, and values is like defence. Personal conflict resolution is the ultimate goal of anger.

Step two is recognising our arousal. Nervousness and rage make it hard to think clearly and make good decisions. Breathe, relax, and clear your mind.

The last method is to analyse your emotional conflict. What bothers me? Why am I hurt? This affects what? Am I accountable?

After prioritising, we must commit to the most important ones. Assertive communication takes time to develop but must be practiced daily. To communicate and overcome misunderstandings or competing views is not harmful.

Learn to handle negative emotions, recognise that talking means finding agreements, positioning oneself with respect, and building bridges to enhance cooperation.

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