We've almost forgotten how to be nice. The effect of social media, where people don't mind expressing harsh comments to others, has increased the amount of impolite people.
Anderson and Pearson (1999) evaluated kindness as a virtue and a moral norm. "The practises and standards that dictate how humans should conduct themselves in order to live together," according to the definition of politeness. "Treating others nicely and gracefully" is courtesy's definition (www.tdk.gov.tr). Incivility is the lack of regard for others in interpersonal relationships (Brown and Levinson 1987; Anderson and Pearson 1999).
As these definitions show, respect is a fundamental emotion behind civility. When we treat someone with kindness, we show our respect for them. We can also blame rudeness and conceit for a stranger using the pronoun "you." But they only call us "you" because they don't respect us, and that upsets us the most.
Human behaviour is contagious. For example, we are more likely to be unpleasant in an environment dominated by rude people. Positive feelings, however, spread quickly. Dr. Jonathan Haidt, a psychologist, has proven that good behaviour is contagious. The "Courtesy Is Contagious: Catch It" campaign in American schools featured two unique jars. Students were also told to fill one jar with beans for bad behaviour and the other with good behaviour. The jars made the kids more aware of their actions.
In the program's second task, the teacher taught her students compassion. He then gave the student a red apple for being impulsively kind and decent in class. And he told the disciple to give the apple to a friend. Su Ellen Fried, a campaign supporter, said the students enjoyed the exercise and competed to be kind.
Yes, kindness is contagious, but so is nastiness. We are all human, and no matter how polite we are, we can be swayed by the harshness of others around us.
In situations like this, we can play a game. Pick a role model noted for their continual kindness. Audrey Hepburn, for example, comes to mind when thinking about kindness and elegance. (Our male readers might choose another role model.)
"What would Audrey Hepburn do?" when you meet a rude person. Consider that. "What Would Audrey Do?" asks Pamela Keogh, guiding us back to the shores of kindness. It inspired the book as well.
Isn't it preferable to be kind than to complain about nasty people? These fears are baseless because we are not outside society. We must all join forces to build a civilization. "Be the change you want to see," Gandhi said. Do we scold rude people? Be kind to one another. Tired of reckless people? Let's be considerate. Then we won't complain.
We can do the "Compassion Born of Love" meditation with you to keep the compassion alive. Meditation is a non-religious mind-calming technique with various forms. My favourite meditation is 'Metta Compassion Born of Love', which aims to rekindle compassion inside ourselves. Metta means "kindness" or "goodwill" in Pali. If you like, we can do this together today.
Assume a comfortable position. You may be on your knees, hands on knees. Close your eyes. Contemplating sending oneself compassion, kindness, and love. First, we make our own metta.
Then imagine a loved one and say "Happy" to them. Up your game. Precautions "May he rest in peace." Now say these phrases to a stranger. We've reached the most difficult stage of meditation. Send all these good wishes to someone you hate. An initial challenge. But try it. Finally, wish for all life on Earth (including animals and plants). Slowly open your eyes and try to carry the pleasant feelings you felt during meditation with you all day. Try Metta meditation once or twice a week. Compassion and kindness will gradually blossom in you.
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