How Do You Overcome When You Have Been BetrayedsteemCreated with Sketch.

in life •  last year 

Many will disagree with this statement for many reasons. Most individuals consider cheating on a loved one or not paying a friend a debt treachery. But this issue can be viewed differently. Ponder this idea:

“When we feel betrayed, it's because we asked someone to do something impossible and had too many expectations.

If this idea is hard to accept, remember that it hurts less than accusing someone of betraying you. Beliefs convert feelings into suffering. You can't follow your heart since your ego holds these notions.

Difference between feeling and emotion. Feeling arises fast and impulsively. Positive or negative. Example: A young woman receives a praise from her father. She feels valued and adored. A good feeling. This can cause her to feel bad, as emotions are inner turmoil generated by charges made against someone because one is fearful for oneself.

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If her ego takes over, emotions could replace this young woman's well-being. She may think she wants her mother to appreciate her more and accuse her of being ungrateful, cold, and harsh. As she blames him, she will feel wrath, frustration, rejection, and maybe hostility.

If we acknowledge our fear without blaming ourselves or others, it won't turn into emotions because we allow ourselves to be human and fear. Though feelings are transitory, emotions last a long time.

Situations are easily distorted. This happens when you feel betrayed. Only you can decide if you were betrayed based on your beliefs and knowledge.

One of my sons betrayed me a few years ago. Knowing he wanted to work from home at night to make money meet, I volunteered to translate one of my novels into English. He accepted my offer and the three-month mandate deadline.

Every time I checked on the work, he assured me it was progressing. After three months, he requested extra time to finish. I asked him to send me his work, but it was illegible. My son then told me the file was broken and that he would fix it.

I contacted him the next day to ask why and accuse him of making me cry. When injured, we forget responsibility and love and let the ego rule. My betrayal wound triggered.

He told me he thought he could complete it by translating a set number of pages every day, but he couldn't do it after work. He procrastinated till he was discouraged and realised he could no longer catch up. I asked him why he hadn't told me sooner so I could find someone else, and he answered he had often considered it but didn't have the confidence.

I closed my chat with my son by saying I couldn't wait for my betrayal wound to heal so I wouldn't get into such situations. We laughed about it and released our negative emotions.


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