Overcoming Grief: Helping Others Accept Their Grief

You are reading this article to support a friend or family member who is unhappy, confused, and distressed after a death. We often don't know how to relate to a mourning person or get fatigued being around them. Their anguish may be so intense that you want to leave.

Maybe you're terrified of saying something wrong or a death brings back memories or concerns. You realise that turning away or doing the wrong thing in such a moment could ruin your relationship with the bereaved or bring extra anguish. You want to help but have no idea how.

Helping a bereaved friend is difficult. There are practical ways to demonstrate your support. The best assistance you can give is to walk with your friend or loved one through this difficult time. Your patience, time, and love may need to be increased. Naturally, you care and want to help.

This post should help you understand how to help your friend traverse the unknown oceans of pain and grief. You may provide common sense in these difficult times.

While love and warm words mean a lot to the bereaved, helping them with practical issues that need to be done quickly shows them how much you care and reassures her that she is not alone in her grief.

Grieving people indicated they would form teams of friends and relatives to do things if they had to do it again. In her book “Mom Minus Dad,” Jameison Haverkampf describes a “energy team” to help mourning people with responsibilities and energy. One person may record food gifts, charitable donations, and other services so family members can send thank you cards later.

Haverkampf explains, “Energy team members can first bring other members and the family together to discuss family needs and special requests and introduce themselves. The team can also brainstorm new members at this meeting. This meeting lets the family express their wishes to everyone at once, freeing up their energy to deal with bereavement and other demands.

If family and friends are coming from out of town for the funeral, you can plan the meeting and greet attendees. You might connect mourners and guests as friends and family express condolences. Handling food from friends and neighbours, answering the phone, and organising are also helpful.

Those who die slowly can leave testaments and share their final wishes for funerals and burial, but sometimes a person who dies tragically never gets the chance to say what they want. This adds burden to family members who must make plans based on what the loved one wanted. With your emotions at stake, these decisions become harder.

Gathering close friends and family members to discuss how they "think" someone would like to be heard might be helpful. Though their advice may be considered, it is always best to leave the final decision to your partner or closest parents.

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