Others may try too hard to satisfy. People may be dubbed "people pleasers" if they speak and act to please others rather than themselves. What causes this and how can we fix it?
People pleasers put others' needs above their own. Every effort is made to be kind, helpful, and pleasant to others, even if it means putting their own needs first. This attitude also makes it hard for individuals to protect themselves or set boundaries, which can affect their relationships and self-esteem.
People who satisfy others have certain mindsets. The most prevalent:
Having trouble expressing "no" may reflect a need to satisfy people. You may think that refusing to do anything will cost you others' love.
People-pleasers struggle to set boundaries and feel bad. This could lead to hurting yourself or resenting someone nearby.
Apologising for not their fault: These people feel responsible for others' feelings and reactions. This lets them persist on apologising for things that are unrelated.
Constant need for approval: An accommodating person generally needs to feel accepted by others. This could include continually questioning others or wanting to please them at all costs.
Low self-esteem: They may be seeking external validation to fill internal gaps. This can cause anxiety or despair.
By continually saying yes to others, these people overlook their own needs because they spend too much time doing things for others instead of themselves.
These signs may suggest a "people pleaser."
Understanding your reasons for pleasing others can help you stop becoming a people pleaser. Some common explanations for this mindset are:
Low self-esteem: Many people indulge in this behaviour because they don't value themselves. They may push themselves aside, lowering their self-esteem.
Personal insecurity: People may want to impress others because they fear worse treatment or a bad connection.
Perfectionism: Excessive perfectionism might cause overaccommodation.
Traumatic or painful situations can generate this personality type. People who have been abused may try to satisfy others or be too kind to avoid a similar situation.
Saying “no” can be challenging in certain situations. Thus, practicing this approach can help you stop being complacent towards people. Test yourself with close friends to learn this.
Give yourself time to decide: "people pleasers" have a tendency to accept proposals immediately. Think before answering. This will show you when you neglect yourself.
Set aside time to be alone to take care of yourself: This is another way to make more time for yourself. Planning and committing to it can help in these situations.