“If bad things happen to me, it is always the fault of others”; They cause all my problems. I have no role.” Is this statement meaningful? Are these sentences yours or a common speech?
Some people cannot accept responsibility. When we can't assume that we direct our lives, choose, and act, it's harder to take charge of our future. Someone else is always responsible for our misfortunes in these circumstances.
My partner, sister-in-law, and someone I knew... Wide range. As wide as desired. The most limiting blindness is not being able to assume this part that belongs to us, thankfully, and is not chance or others. The most tenacious resistance and argument that the other is always “guilty” of my misfortunes.
These folks blame others for not taking responsibility.
Some people are adept at justifying to themselves that they are not responsible for terrible events. Their habit of self-deception makes it easy for them to do nearly subconsciously.
The limits of self-deception makes reality increasingly unclear. More disorderly, aggressive.
When we delegate, we lose control. We act rashly. When we get frustrated because the other person can't or won't fulfil our desires. This isn't our war. The other can behave freely. We must behave accordingly.
They gripe a lot. Even minor issues might be complained about. They become kingdom rulers because they cannot handle frustration. The worst aspect is that such behaviour hurts them and others they love.
We must know ourselves, dig deep, and realise that our grey zones are ours and do not depend on others. Transformation begins with self-awareness and acceptance. Finding a solution is tough if we are unaware of our wants, impulses, and where they come from.
If these people are not taken into account, they will throw tantrums like children, demand attention, and do anything to be noticed.
They accept practically any means and anything goes. Others must view them how they wish; if they don't, they get furious. They wish the other the worst and blame them for their frustration, or if they can, to avoid disappointment.
When others don't give up everything for them, frustration ensues. However, sometimes others fix their difficulties so swiftly that they don't realise they sought for help. Additionally, since the other was required to fulfil their wishes and requirements, they do not have to be appreciative.
You will mature by collecting your arrows.
These people see others as slaves who must meet their own needs. You follow my directions. If you disobey, I'll make you feel guilty for my suffering. This is their implicit thinking.