A number of years ago, I was fortunate enough to be able to take part in a seminar that provided me with the opportunity to learn about an extremely useful strategy for handling difficult conversations. It was referred to as the Four-Dimensional Approach to Communication, and I thought it was something truly remarkable.
It is a method that was developed by a psychologist and is intended to address a common challenge in communication, specifically the challenge of assigning blame. This method was developed in order to address this challenge.
It is a reasonable assumption to make that if someone is placing blame, there is at least a remote possibility that they are personally responsible for the situation.
On the other hand, in spite of the fact that you have made every effort possible, it is still possible that you will be held accountable. That does not necessarily imply that the blame is appropriate in the given circumstances.
It would be my pleasure to illustrate this point with a specific instance. The timeline for the product's development has been thrown off by some unanticipated setbacks.
I am aware of the reasons for the delay, and I am appreciative of the manner in which you have explained them. He is concerned about the delay, and he suggests that it would be understandable if you also felt some disappointment as a result of it.
Instead of making assumptions about his perspective, it might be helpful to consider the possibility that he is feeling a sense of responsibility for the delay. This could be a more productive approach. It is possible that you will come to the conclusion that there is no justification for you to feel ashamed because he did not place any blame on you for the situation.
What if, rather than pointing fingers, we discussed the possibility of accepting shared responsibility for the hold up? It might be useful if we apologise for the inconvenience and suggest that we work together to find a solution that will speed up the process.
In addition, I have found that it is often to everyone's advantage to give the person in question some time to calm down and take it easy before discussing the issue again. When people are given the chance to regain their composure, they have a greater tendency to be more receptive to your point of view as well as more open to communicating it.
In the meantime, may I respectfully suggest giving this experiment some thought? Think about the benefits of accepting responsibility for your own actions rather than pointing the finger at other people when you screw up. Taking responsibility for your actions is likely to have a positive effect on your overall sense of happiness.