We've all felt helpless in speaking with someone due to their stubbornness—ego. Usually, the other person activates our ego and we struggle to regulate ourselves and persuade one other.
Remember that the ego contains all our opinions about good, bad, correct, incorrect, normal, etc. Negative judgements trigger anxiety and guilt. Our ego takes over and we realise we are no longer in charge of our lives.
Pride, or BIG EGO, arises when we try to force our ideas on others. Pride most influences personal and professional relationships worldwide.
I'll give you some tips on how to handle a prideful individual today.
If you don't start with compassion, none of the other methods will work. If you can't reach an agreement with the other after trying several methods and the situation gets worse, you haven't sensed their agony and dread.
I recommend taking three deep breaths, drinking water if feasible, and sensing how terrified the other person is, feels bad, or fears feeling guilty about the circumstance.
Mary is attempting to get her partner Bob to eat better and be healthier. She controls herself intensely, but she prefers it than being obese and unwell. Bob, however, eats anytime and enjoys unhealthy drinks like soda and beer. Because he doesn't exercise, Marie, who loves him, worries about his annual weight gain.
Every day, Marie says something to him to persuade him and make him admit she's correct. Bob resists her more as she insists. He tells her it's unimportant and that he can do what he wants with his body. Above all, he doesn't want to control himself like Marie, who apparently has less fun. Her seriousness and expectations bother him.
Mary started this disagreement, so she must feel Bob's dread to reach a compromise and make peace. If he didn't know it, he's terrified and guilty since Marie wouldn't try to make him feel guilty. Next, Mary must assess her anxieties and guilts.
He may claim to be fearless and guiltless. Marie should let go and tell him she hopes he would talk to her if he finds out. She can ask him how he feels when she controls him. Communication is never judgmental, only interested in the other person's experience.
Letting go involves wanting something but not controlling how or when it happens. The Universe is trusted. Marie may occasionally ask Bob if he's found anything, but she won't demand.
After admitting their anxieties, they might consider adding water to their wine and reach an agreement. Marie can let go of control and detach herself from Bob. The latter may agree to act as previously only sometimes. Most importantly, they must keep talking and feel one other's pain.
After practising it multiple times, you will find it easy to understand and be peaceful with others. Nothing is learned without practise.