Forgiveness, weakness or liberation?

In certain religions, forgiveness means absolution, or God erasing the offence if the sinner repents.

Victims must also forgive, which is difficult: how can we “erase” a child murder or a genocide?

In another view, forgiving liberates.

The main stages of forgiveness are welcoming the hurt, expressing anger, refusing to stay in suffering, understanding the one who hurt, acknowledging the fault, evacuating one's guilt, and learning from the situation.

Different lengths and difficulties of routes
Time is a factor in forgiveness: the stages might happen swiftly or never.

This depends on the offence, but remember that the worst criminal was a pure child twisted by the defence systems (sometimes awful) he set in place against his own wounds.

Adultery can be forgiven quickly by some but a tragedy by others, depending on their sensitivity and the offense's impact.

Resentment makes us “put the suffering away in our hearts” and double-sanctions us for remembering the hurt. When an offence is committed, we suffer initially and continue to suffer.

Although time may allow forgetting, forgiving means refusing to think and focus on what hurts. Forgiveness entails removing the offender's power to hurt us. Self-forgiveness comes first.

After being burned and expressing your grief and anger, you don't place your hands over the flame because you know it will take time, perhaps a lot of time, for the fire to become embers, hot ashes, and cool harmless ashes.

Instead, we leave home to avoid it and focus on self-care, shelter, and learning why we were burned and how to recover. preserve. We also know that focusing on good things will help us forget our agony until the wound heals.

The same goes for spiritual wounds. To begin, pursue distractions such as self-care, physical activity, nature walks, socialising, and future planning. Repetition of these small things will help the mind avoid suffering as much as possible. Understanding will come later.

Forgiveness does not release the sufferer; only they can end their pain. However, asking for forgiveness, whether expected or spontaneous, might assist the victim and offender reach mutual understanding. We shouldn't wait for absolution; it's fairer to apologise and let the other person heal.

Sometimes forgiving yourself is hard. The process is the same: embracing guilt, releasing it by allowing vulnerability, and learning from one's mistakes leads to liberation.

If we believe forgiveness requires an apology and erasing the wrong, we cannot effectively execute emancipation. We all stumble, offend, and are offended at some point in our life. Recognising this helps us support our own and others' inadequacies.

If reconciliation occurs, forgiveness tastes like a victory over our dark selves.

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