You don't just have to sit around a table and talk about a problem to negotiate. You have to try to come to an understanding with the people around you every day.
Human relations are based on negotiation. Disagreements, debates, and disputes arise when two people are together. We discuss trips with our companion. With kids not going to bed. With our neighbor's barking dog.
Conflict is healthy, expressing differences, and should not be avoided. Negotiation is civilised since changing husbands or quitting every time a problem arises is impossible. It signifies a live relationship, essential to society.
This lets us avoid blaming the other for all the ills, pointing them out, or giving in to him. Some people need to be loved so much that they seek an agreement at any costs, hurting themselves.
Just stating, “I really want to go out to dinner with you, but I'm too tired tonight,” sounds impossible. They must understand and articulate their desires.
Splitting the pear is the classic compromise. You want the mountains, I want the sea; we do a week here, a week there. Easy, quick, and feels like you solved the problem. But neither interlocutor is happy.
In a negotiation, you must reconcile a conflicting interest. Positions we take to defend interests are usually more important than interests themselves.
Instead of aggressiveness, capitulation, and compromise, find the other's needs and provide a solution. Be inventive. Engage him without dictating. Since the other is always respectful, it shows thoughtfulness.
An angry youngster, a harsh boss, a violent husband—the other is not always respectable.
To accept injustice or violence is to promote it. Responding on the same grounds escalates. The good negotiator must step aside since too much passion makes it impossible to talk to someone.
Good negotiators give time: "Look, I'm tired this evening, we'll talk about it tomorrow." Or express his strong feelings: “I feel attacked by what you are saying. Be careful not to mix emotion with expressiveness.
Showing your sentiments is more vital than screaming or crying. Anything excessive may offend or create the same attitude. Screaming may make him scream.
Do you bargain with your kids and boss the same way?
The rules of effective negotiation apply to all conflicts, from marital discontent to hostage kidnapping. Reason and emotion must be balanced.
Negotiation helps address problems with competing interests. Whatever. You must bargain with your child since giving in to even the tiniest request shows you cannot establish your interests and aspirations.
How will he comprehend tomorrow that others have different interests and must be respected? If you don't let your child defend his needs against you, how will he convey them to others?
It's possible to negotiate everything, but not everything is. It's non-negotiable when my core interests and requirements are at stake. Additionally, a skilled negotiator usually has a backup plan.
If this woman cannot reason with a violent husband or if her supervisor performs moral harassment, she should leave her husband and change jobs.
However, people sometimes profit from what hurts them, so knowing yourself is crucial to negotiating properly.