Definition of "envy": "To long for an advantage that someone has, or to regret not having it." Everyone feels envy, but to varying degrees. Know when you experience envy and how to handle it. Envy and jealousy must be distinguished.
Three individuals jealous. Jealous people fear a third party will take someone they love and consider theirs. She fears losing. Because jealous people try to “destroy” the danger, jealousy is destructive.
Only two individuals envy. Envious people don't fear losing; they desire what others have. Young children play together and show the desire. They covet their friends' scooters, Nintendos, Playstations, etc. Parents are annoyed that their kids want everything. They have too many demands.
Many parents can't say no to a child who wants what a friend has. They buy what he demands quickly. Children learn from such an experience to envy something so their desire arises in their life. When this child grows up and envies a neighbour or relative, his parents won't automatically give him what he wants.
He would progressively see himself as unlucky. He will likewise think “life is unfair”. Questioning, “Why the others and not me?” Envy may be harmful when a person devalues himself and believes they cannot achieve what others have. higher strongly held beliefs lead to higher envy of others.
Young children must learn to control their desires for good. How? By showing them that envy may fuel their ambitions. The child must understand that he might envy his pals and want everything he wants. However, he shouldn't criticise others for having what he lacks. Nor should he expect his wishes to appear spontaneously by desiring.
He must harness his envy to construct his own existence. Helping the child recognise what he can and can't accomplish to achieve his goals is crucial. The sooner your child learns to react this manner to his desires, the better he can manage and actualize them.
Adults, how do you handle desires? You should praise yourself for recognising a desire and compliment the individual who has something that seems attractive to you. Ask yourself: "Do I need this thing or benefit? How would it benefit me? How would this item or benefit help me most? What do I want?
If you realise you want it, use your desire to move forward and discover a way to get it. Then use your creativity and act.
When someone has something you don't, it hurts. Your envy comes from this hurt. Most jealousy stems from injustice. Is it unjust that someone else has more? If so, you think it's unfair to own more than others. This feeling inhibits you from achieving things your friends and family don't. You prevent your desires from coming true. This makes us envy people who envy others!
Now that you know the positive and negative effects of envy, I propose that you allow yourself to live with envy but utilise it to build your creative power or reveal worries that are no longer useful.