Our social character stems from the fact that we needed others to survive millions of years ago. Although this is less true today, we still need care and attention when we are born.
Without self-esteem, our survival and emotional health are at risk.
Children require security from their parents or another trusted figure. Regardless, this stability or confidence will help the youngster become an emotionally robust, self-confident, and self-esteem-boosting adult.
It's clear that few people have these traits. Most people are uncomfortable, unconfident, and overestimate themselves.
Why is unconditional love so hard to find? Lack of love, care, regard, or respect in infancy may cause low self-esteem. Overprotection, lack of limitations, and cultural education may also be factors.
We shouldn't blame our fears on our past, upbringing, or parents. This is fixed.
Your adult can still repair this flawed youngster and help him love himself independently.
The missing piece for this person
Sometimes you may feel incomplete. You can be gorgeous, successful, and have a fantastic family and still feel incomplete. Definitely your love.
A person who does not unconditionally love himself will feel that he is missing a piece of the puzzle. Wrong, he can look outside himself, but the pieces he finds will never fit.
That's why he keeps hunting for the piece, not realising that the one he fits with is the one he can make with love, acceptance, and care.
Education, culture, self-demands, etc. prevent us from finding this component. The teaching we receive relentlessly restricts self-love. The term is “selfishness”. Thus, the child learns to never receive compliments, speak poorly of himself, say yes to everything when he wants to say no, etc.
We were taught that others must lead, yet this is not true. If we don't prioritise ourselves, we can't be excellent with others.
If we put others' wants first, we'll tyre and lose ourselves and others.
Selfishness makes us awful people, thus others reject us. Since we don't desire this, we focus on pleasing others and leave ourselves behind. When we realise the outside pieces don't fit with ours, we feel empty. The abandonment of oneself does not produce love.
To build self-esteem, treat yourself generously. Write a love letter to yourself to start. You must be realistic, not vain. We love each other and will show it to ourselves and others.
The sophistication of this industry will surprise you because we are not used to complimenting each other. Your inner demon will convince you you're selfish, proud, and more. Ignore him and love yourself.
However, you need start realistically assessing yourself. Be honest with yourself about your strengths and weaknesses. Accept it and do what you can within your skills. You know everything will be OK, so don't assume you can't and everything will go wrong.
Finally, take one daily step towards your goals. Praise yourself for success! Telling yourself “you can” will boost your self-esteem. Accept that perfection doesn't exist and act accordingly.