Depression, unpleasant mood, weighty news... If we complain about our bad morale, someone will tell us to "see life on the bright side" or put it in perspective because "is always worse".
No longer do “only” people preach positivity, but our mentality, which is impacted by anti-negativity material, refuses to acknowledge its bad sensations.
Jamie Waters of The Guardian reviews Whitney Goodman's book. In Toxic optimism, she was among the first to criticise modern toxic optimism.
She was disturbed when more cancer patients told her “not to let their negative emotions take over”. “Neglecting them is strongly encouraged in my profession and in culture in general,” the American says.
This habit harms mental and physical health. Anne Clotilde Ziégler, a psychotherapist, explains why we should accept our unpleasant emotions.
If we are taught to see the glass half full from childhood, it is an undesirable social habit. In her book, Whitney Goodman says Western culture is “programmed to believe that optimism is always the best choice”.
According to her, this burying of bad feelings began in the 1970s when scientists declared happiness the ultimate objective of life and encouraged people to pursue it by all means. A star solution? Not seeing unpleasant things can protect our happiness.
We must mourn death, but moms must enjoy pregnancy and childbirth. However, we are far from reality.
The well-being and relaxation movement, which emerged alongside social media, has worsened all this. Our brain virtually “deforms” for the psychologist. When a loved one is sad, we comfort them with the idea that there is always something good in the negative, so we shouldn't feel it. “Being positive has become a goal and an obligation,” she writes.
Particularly when Anne-Clotilde Ziégler notes that “social prescriptions” exist for feeling emotions. We must be sad about death, but moms must enjoy pregnancy and childbirth. However, we are far from reality. We will force people to lock up their emotions in little boxes against society, which is unhealthy, she says.
Several research evoke basic emotions. Anne Clotilde Ziégler recalls Paul Ekman's anxiety, excitement, grief, wrath, and disgust.
They make us all make the same face. It's not natural to recognise and address them. It is especially taught from parents, she says. “A well-lived life should have far fewer negative emotions than positive ones, but not none. In the Guardian, American journalist and author Daniel Pink said banning them is a foolish idea.
French specialist says these emotions are only called negative. “They are just emotions, but they have connotations because they manifest as unpleasant sensations, which we prefer to repress,” she says.
Anne Clotilde Ziégler is clear: we want to embrace them. They reveal much about our lives. We must accept them to avoid stifling them or not understanding their message. Unwelcome inner agitation affects our thinking and can cause stomach problems and diarrhoea ", she says.