Grieving is complicated and unpleasant. Each person goes at their own rate, although it takes at least 6 months to 2 years . There will be difficult moments. Birthdays and Christmas bring memories, loss, and melancholy. Thus, we will offer grief-coping strategies on significant dates.
Grief is often endless, as several authors note in Continuing Bonds (2014). We adjust to life without the departed and relearn how to operate, yet certain feelings will resurface.
Learning how to manage them is healthier than hiding or eliminating them.
The first year after a death is the hardest. Due in part to the fact that this is our first set of special occasions without this person. Each day brings a new realisation of its absence, hurting more than ever.
Even in future years, these dates may cause anguish. This word describes unexpected sensations of melancholy, anxiety, dread, or emptiness that arise when we believed the hardest part was done.
The discomfort these feelings cause and the shame people feel about them are the issues. Social pressure is high to enjoy life again and join in these festivities as soon as feasible. What should we do with all this interior experience?
If you have trouble managing your emotions before emotionally charged events, try these tips.
- Allow yourself to feel
Your first priority right now is validating your emotions. Don't blame yourself for feeling sad, fearful, furious, or nostalgic, and don't hide it. We often use this method to appease others or avoid criticism.
However, remember that you have the right to feel what you feel and can only process and release pain by letting it in.
- Communicate confidently
At this point, create boundaries or convey your needs and feelings. Inform them assertively if their comments or pressure damage you.
Allow yourself to express and share your sentiments with them to release and manage emotions. According to Revista de Psicoterapia, this is crucial to avoiding complicated grieving.
Remember to tell your family how to help. Do you prefer companionship or solitude today? Need to talk or want to do something fun? Ask for grieving support on significant dates.
- Decide consciously
One of the most typical issues is whether to attend festivities or meetings on designated days. Each person can choose to join or not, therefore the choice is up to them.
Sadness and longing may make you want to skip this painful occasion. Avoidance can prolong pain and delay recovery.
Thus, regardless of the situation, consider what you need now and make a conscious choice without fear or pressure. Remember that you might change current customs to symbolise a new stage in life.
- Remember your loved one.
Grief rituals are helpful (Rivas, 2010). Indeed, these tiny deeds allow us to honour our loved one and recall them at festivities or occasions.