Why We Feel the Need to Explain Ourselves and Justify Our Choices

Many find it tough. Do you ever tell someone what you want and why? Is this self-justification or sharing?

To answer this question, you must define justification. The dictionary defines justifying oneself as explaining one's behaviour to disprove an accusation. Self-defense is self-justification.

Justifying oneself makes you feel bad, often subconsciously. It's typical to feel bad without being asked and then hurry to give unasked answers. Even if you think someone else is guilty, you judge yourself.

Say a woman is proud to show her partner a new acquisition. Did you truly need it? She then justifies herself with several arguments. She will likely be angry and say Why do you always guilt me? You're ruining my joy.

As you could expect, her spouse asked this question because she felt bad. Her spouse would have reacted differently if she hadn't felt guilty. Others always mirror our inner state towards us. This is our immense life-creating capacity.

Take another example. If you promised your boss extra work, provide it within a month. After a few days, you realise you're asking too much and that unanticipated circumstances will make it hard to keep your word. Visit your supervisor to share the news. Sharing your decision (need) with your manager could go like this:

Please note that I cannot honour my pledge and must detach. After thought, I realise that this work surpasses my boundaries due to unforeseen situations and that I want to prevent stress. So please delegate this task. Sorry for any inconvenience.

I promise your boss will accept your decision even if it inconveniences him if you don't feel bad. I've had to detach multiple times and the other person stated that it was their business because they had changed their mind and didn't want to notify me. say.

However, justifying yourself to your supervisor could look like this:

Please note that I cannot honour my pledge and must detach. You can't imagine all that's happened to me in the past few days and... List all the reasons you can't maintain your pledge. I hope my decision doesn't bother you, but everything that occurs to me isn't my responsibility. I'm sorry.

These words imply lots of guilt. This person fears losing boss love. She feels bad for putting herself before her boss.

I recommend being cautious when listening to your requirements and making a decision with someone. If someone rejects your decision and you feel bad, realise that's your fault.

Justifying yourself makes you feel guilty for loving, embracing, and choosing what's best for you. If you can't put your needs first without guilt, excuses, or justifications, you'll expect a lot from others. As a selfish person, you will put your own needs above others'.

True self-love entails putting your needs first. When you let others come first, you love yourself enough. This way, you won't guilt them and will be more willing to accept their judgements, even if you disagree.

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